What a magical week that was! My deepest gratitude to you all for making it happen! Open, for reflecting the One back to us, Trinity for nourishing our inner being, Emilia and Jean-Michel for holding the space and my fellow participants for the beautiful reflections of myself. Coming back, the confrontation with the density has already been quite full on and I am getting better at noticing some of synchronicities that the universe is constantly reflecting back to me. I have come down with a flu/cold yesterday, though it feels more like an energetic than physical process.

Then today I had an interesting revelation about a situation that has been challenging me for a while now. To cut a long story short, the heating system/boiler of my downstairs neighbor has a mysterious problem, which every now and then causes a loud banging noise in the shaft with pipes running through my bedroom, like a train rushing by, waking me up multiple times at night. For nearly 1.5 years I have been desperately trying to get the housing organisation to resolve this problem, with no success so far. Other than the thought that perhaps this is telling me that it is time to move somewhere else, the whole situation has been driving me crazy with feelings of not being listened to, not being taken serious (I have already been blamed for exaggerating, not cooperating, etc.), desperation and despair.
Then today I was on the phone with the responsible guy at the housing organisation, who drives me most crazy. Because he never listens to or takes the information I share about the situation into account and therefore keeps on coming up with possible solutions that I already know won’t resolve the problem, but then when I start asking critical questions, he considers that I am not cooperating and trusting him. As I was on the phone with him, I was very aware of how he didn’t acknowledge anything of what I said and the feeling of not being heard coming up. This time I felt bold enough to express this to him and right as I was trying to do so, our phone connection was cut out of nowhere. To me a clear confirmation from the universe and an invitation for me to feel into ‘not being listened to’. Then later he called me back to continue the conversation, which eventually ended in a verbal fight were some of my anger just blurted out and I hung up on him. As I was reflecting on what this whole situation was mirroring to me, I suddenly realised that the way he doesn’t listen and just imposes his solutions, is exactly what I do internally with the flow. The flow is talking to me loud and clearly, but I don’t listen to it or take it seriously, just like I feel this guy has been doing with me. Until the flow starts getting so desperate that it will get ‘angry’ at me (flu/cold or other disharmony?) in the hope that I will finally listen. The flow is trying to restore internal harmony (no more banging noise), but by not listening to it, disharmony remains.
I suddenly saw it very clearly and realized that this probably means that the noise problem at my house won’t resolve until I start listening to, trusting and cooperating with the flow, rather than ignoring it. But at the same time surrendering to the flow feels absolutely terrifying and I would much rather run away from the situation. To be continued…..

Much love,

Marije