I've been wide awake at night this past week, feeling the energy of Uranus, The Great Awakener, which sits in my 12th House of the Unconscious in my natal astrology chart. It's during the night when stuck energy often illuminates for me, more so than during the day when I'm distracted. Given the time difference between England and Canada, it feels like I'm tuning into the Openhand energy of the Transfiguration workshop when it's happening. Last night I was strongly feeling the energy of guilt at letting others down and how I have projected from there through numerous lifetimes. My heart felt about to burst and shatter. I've experienced a lot of physical pain in the heart chakra area these past few years as I continue to activate karma. Feeling guilt about letting others down feels like deep and bottomless Source pain and an ancient pattern associated with my star family, which feels like Pleiades, and how I failed to hold the light way back when to help dissolve the dark agenda of OC. I'm questioning the images and feelings I'm picking up, asking myself, "Can this be real?" I re-read the Openhand nine-step process and am doing my best to process that way, but I feel a lack of confidence in doing so. Onwards with the practice to confront, feel the pain, become the One in it, and replace the old neural pathways with joy juice and aligned patterns in the flow of Divine Benevolence.

P.S. Felt to add that synchronicity today reflects back that I am breaking up old neural pathways of behaviour. Along with guilt of failing others comes over-compensation, feeling overly responsible for and doing too much for others; then feeling unappreciated, resentful, and pissed off for over-extending my compassionate heart. I interrupted this pattern today by backing away from a situation that clearly mirrors back this distortion. And guess what, no one died! :)

x Cathy