Hi Open, I have tried to go deeper. Sometimes the pain is excruciating and I can feel it coursing up and down my back with intense tingling moving under the pain (weirdly I am beginning to enjoy this pain!!). The pain sometimes spreads to my womb, uterus, guts and very strong in my pelvis, this pain I do not enjoy. It literally feels like something is growing inside me that is going to rip me open and sometimes my legs feel like they belong to someone else or like they will drop off due to lack of blood flow. The pain sometimes continues for a few hours in the pelvis and I am trying to allow it all to flow through me and accept that it is there. Today I am seeing images being formed and moving/dancing in the clouds which is a first. I have seen images like this formed from shadows on walls for a couple of months now. It happens when I am thinking about absolutely nothing. They feel harmless, but they do take me slightly out of my state of being as I begin to try and work out what I am being shown. I also get shown colours and sometimes cartoon like images when I close my eyes. I don’t go searching for it, it just happens naturally and again I begin to try and work out what I am seeing but don’t get very far. I have had a couple of mini shamanic journeys recently and I always get shown images in cartoon form. I know I watched and loved cartoons when I was little but I have no idea what this all means or if it is even connected with this past life karma. I would really like to work this out without the help of a facilitator if possible but if you still feel that I would benefit from seeing someone please could you point me in the right direction? I felt disempowered after your message suggesting a facilitator and I am not sure why – perhaps thinking I can do everything myself as a distortion or perhaps because I am so passionate about helping others in the future that I believe I have to really go through the deep shit alone in order to facilitate deep transformation for others. Thank you again for your time on this, I really appreciate all I have learnt and continue to learn from you. Love Etta 