Hi Open,

Thanks for your feedback! The analogy I keep on getting about coming back to Europe from Africa is of an open blossoming flower, that is closing down its petals again. With regards to the flu-like symptoms, I am aware that it is a lot more appealing for my ego to think that I am letting go of something, than feeling resistance to where I have landed. Because being honest about the resistance to being back in the Netherlands (not sure how that resistance then causes flu symptoms though) means having to look into that.... Which tends to bring me back to an old cat and mouse game of the mind about whether I have to first fully work through this resistance and become completely ok with being in the Netherlands, before moving elsewhere, or whether the resistance is showing me that it is time to move elsewhere, though this could be an easy way to move away from the resistance and never full work through it (which used to be my strategy in the past, moving abroad and in that way away from the resistance). At the same time there is a lot of guilt and self-blame around the resistance, particularly in relation to my family, which is the part that is trying to tell me that it isn’t all that bad and to convince me of all the positive things of being here. Something about being selfish and letting people down, but also about being on my own without support.... Interestingly I can also feel resistance about confronting the resistance Slightly Smiling and coming up with excuses not to....

And yes, I can definitely feel the EU being more controlled and dense than Africa! I reckon that all the stuff that seems to be going on around my head must be grey energy preying on this fresh flower coming from Africa? I wonder why this is also why I feel like a flower shutting down, to be less exposed to all this grey energy?

Other than that you wrote:

to focus more on the metaphor and synchronistic interplay in the external - so there's a tendency to take on less energy

I am not sure I am getting what you mean here, particularly how that results in taking on less energy, could you elaborate a bit more on this? 

Heart