Hi Marye,

Where you get challenged is where you need to grow - to open up more. It's often at the level of mind that this kind of influx is resisted. The more light you let in, yes, the more its going to transform - like metamorphosis. So don't expect it to be comfortable. It wants to break everything inside that might be holding on.

As I read your post, the word "control" popped out very strongly. Why are you still trying to control? What are you still trying to control? Are you afraid of falling apart? The old self must do that. And it's entirely okay. Out of the ashes will arise the new.

This can be done progressively. You don't necessarily have to do it all at once (although some do - I did. It's not pretty. But it unleashes powerful inflows). So if you feel you really can't cope with being so overwhelmed, then find techniques that distract from the pain... entertainment, food, music, exercise, bodywork. These kinds of things. But when you can muster the courage again, step right back into the furnace.

You're not alone - even though it may at times feel so.

Open :-)