Strange thing. Of all that was said within this thread, what struck me was the word “atrocity”. It struck me as a surprise, although on the mind level I know exactly what was meant. I do not feel like I want to resist the recent events or meditate on peace (this feels like a resistance of what is, trying to fix something). It is great if people feel like they want to do these things though, why not?

There is a sense of an internal (an external) matrix breaking down and not wanting to follow the usual “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” as dictated by the society or anything external. Instead I’m feeling to leave a space for the feelings to just flow through. As I do that, my perspective on what is going on changes and I feel like challenging the dualistic perception of the static status quo and its anchoring 3D perceptions.

I can’t find within myself much capacity to judge... something shifted within recently and even a small judgment sends a solid punch into the solar plexus. So, I’m quite beaten up these days as old habits die hard. I do feel though… the energies of suffering and despair come through and want to be expressed, I also feel the pain of the perpetrator (heavy, sticky, trapped, desperate to be set free) and it is so much harder to allow this than the victims' suffering. I don't see atrocities, but I do feel suffering, on both sides of the equation ... In my reality at the moment there are fresh new energies flowing in the ether too! They feel like a bonfire passing through me and I can taste the violet quality of the flames and see the light within with the closed eyes sometimes, which causes some anxiety (health concerns) still.

There is a sense of multidimensionality and events playing out on multiple levels. It used to be so easy to anchor the reality with judgments, wants and needs of how things should be, everything felt so much more solid and predictable. Now, all is in a constant flux and events/people have been replaced by archetypes and metaphors. It feels really scary at times, like being suddenly thrown in a really deep water, but there is also a sense of not being able to turn around and a feeling of freedom, a freedom even beyond my understanding of the word… kind of like coming home. I'm still fighting it... not sure why... perhaps because I can't swim? ;-)

I’m just thinking now that my perspective may possibly be felt as cold, “not compassionate enough” or perhaps even weird and that is ok. The truth is: I’ve never felt as much as I’m feeling now and the more feelings I allow the less space for judgment there is.
M.