Hi Elaine, greetings :-)

The first thing I would say to work to realise, is that kids often take behavioural reflections from their, parents/grandparents - but just in their own way. So if you are harsh with him - grabbing him and telling him off strongly, then he's likely to feel that very emotionally, store the energy, and then release it violently in another direction. Subconsciously he's saying: "well it's okay for you to behave like that, so I'll do the same."

Which clearly is the kind of example we wish to pass down. Even if we're not doing it intentionally.

So the 'softening' here would be regressing yourself back into the situation and feeling deeply into your reaction. Why did you react so strongly? What did you think was so wrong? Did parents behave with you in that way? Did it hurt emotionally? Work into these kinds of feelings. Perhaps you might have anger toward a parent figure? Some of these feelings will be deep in the subconscious. So you have to regress into them by reflecting on the situations where you might be storing such pain. Let the anger out if it arises, by shouting perhaps, or beating a cushion, but importantly, don't direct it at anyone.

Then you can work into the feelings and normalise with them. This video gives an insight into how we approach it on the Openhand course work....


Open *OK*