Hi Tom,

Thank you so much for sharing your journey so honestly. It stirred something within me. What I’m going to write is just my perspective and what I’m seeing through my unique personal lens. It might resonate with you or not. I just feel like putting it out there, perhaps to get more clarity on the subject myself, or perhaps there is someone else that needs to read it. All I know is that it has to come out unfiltered. Ok. Here we go:

 

When I’m reading your words, I’m feeling a hypnotic energy that weaves through your story. It feels like a haze that is a bit intoxicating and numbing. Kind of like OC interference or something in the realm of addiction. You have disconnected from this lady physically and severed the contact, but energetically you are still enmeshed, still pulled into her world. There is a sense of bondage and entrapment there. You are not finding the solution in books and conversations with others. I feel you carry lots of wisdom, but perhaps you are not quite trusting it yet. What if the healers and shamans were unsuccessful in taking away this condition because YOU wouldn’t let them? Perhaps because it is YOUR story of coming into empowerment? I bet if you choose to explore in that direction, the impact of it on your life is going to be incredible!

 

We all have our lessons to learn. What else do you need to learn from the enmeshment with that person? Did you need this to teach you about your boundaries? What she can teach you is what you are looking for. If you chose not to have her in your life energetically how else would you go forward to create that closeness with another back in your world? How else can you help others without losing yourself? There are other ways than being abused. When you talk about your situation, most of your preoccupation seems to be with her. Right now your core center seems to be in her world, which makes you very vulnerable. What if you brought your core center back? How would that feel? What is it that keeps pulling you back?

 

Sometimes the resolution capacity is right there, but we somehow keep dwelling in the past. Sometimes it is more about the fear to go forward than anything else. How do you feel in your body when you imagine not having that enmeshment in your life? Do you feel changes in your autonomic nervous system? What do you wish to control? What is controlling you?

 

You express so compassionately and emphatically. If you shine that compassion towards yourself and see your attachment and what it really is about (for you) it will help you move through this lesson. This might allow you to follow your own sense of rightness and express with awareness. And that is how you can support her growth in the most beautiful and powerful way... by being in your own self-empowered energy. She'll feel it. That is what true love is in my humble opinion <3

 

Wishing you well!

 

Margaret