In reply to by Hannah

Hi Hannah :-)

I'd like to offer a reflection from my experiences, as I was experiencing the same thing. I broke up, somewhat reluctantly, with my girlfriend about a year ago. There were so many lovely reflections in the relationship which were keeping me holding on, and yet I felt that I was in a different place now and somehow the current situation was keeping me in box.

The year that has followed has been hard, there's no sugar coating that. I've had moments of complete emotional breakdown. But somehow, at the other end there has been a tremendous emergence of sovereignty. Somehow I've realised that while the adjustment period is tough and sometimes very confusing (just talk to marije about our conversations over the last year) being alone has also brought me much closer to myself. There is more of a sense of being whole.

Interestingly, I actually felt much more lonely while still in the relationship. For me loneliness seems to come when I don't fully embrace myself and my aloneness/sovereignty. So there's then a need for others to fulfill that. And the other interesting thing is that mostly, the beautiful reflections that were arising between me and her are still there. It's just taken a while to adjust to the new paradigm.

I also wanted to reflect to you to give it all time. It took me about two years of feeling that things weren't quite right any more. And it's taken me a further year to get to this point, where even now there are still plenty of things about the relationship to let go of. I would also say that it's easy to focus on all that you might seem to be losing. But, it does make space for new connections and situations to arise I've found to be quite exciting.

Big hug to you
Rich