I have been having mystical experiences since my mid 20s and am now 34. Early on during this journey, I came across The Five Gateways film and book, and have been using these tools to help me evolve further.

In 2015, I went through a spontaneous Kundalini awakening. After going through the activation part, I was attacked by the police and forced to go through what felt like a fake or set up sectioning, and ended up in hospital for 6 days. I left, and moved back home and have been here ever since. 

Last year, I felt like I was going deeper and deeper into Gateway 4, and felt amazing for a couple of months. Shortly after this, I ended up having a shamanic (psychotic) episode. I had imagined that I was the star of a covert reality TV show and ended up in hospital for six weeks. I am now medicated on Olanzapine, which I am not happy about. I was told that if I didn't take medication, then I wouldn't be allowed to see my son. There were similarities between the Kundalini awakening and the psychotic episode, so now I'm left questioning whether I did have a Kundalini awakening or whether it was actually a psychotic episode too. I have been questioning whether all the mystical experiences from my life were actually manic episodes. I feel confused at the moment, so I'd love to get some input from people on this.

Thank you.


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I've just finished watching the film. I got emotional at several points! 

I agree with what Gabor Mate said that childhood trauma is ignored.

I went through a lot of trauma as a child myself and can see that the psychotic episode I had at Christmas was a reflection or metaphor of that trauma. I also think that I was processing my mother's unhealed childhood trauma too. Do any of you guys know anything about transference?

Do any of you guys know whether I have to be medicated? 

Open: thank you for your insightful input. Who would you recommend that I work with? 

Blessings. <3 

Hi Shine on - its nice to "see" you, a warm welcome to Openhand Heart

I have direct experience of what it's like to be sectioned after a huge shift in kundalini. The challenge is that the system has virtually no recognition or understanding of spiritual awakening. And when you do have huge shifts, it can be destablising for some time, because suddenly, your frame of reference to reality changes, and there needs time to settle before it integrates. So the energy shifts strongly inside, but the neural pathways you used to 'come through' - to articulate, to vocalise, to relate to the world - are no longer appropriate, and you need new ways of relating before you can fully engage again. This can present as 'psychosis', to anyone who doesn't understand what's going on.

What's really needed, is to allow the person simply to integrate and settle in the new consciousness, and to allow their experience to flow, without the projection of fear or control.

To me, now, when I see people in states that might be referred to as 'psychosis' , 'schizoprehnia', 'multiple personality disorder' of 'bipolar', what I'm actually seeing is the fragmentation of soul (which actually happens to everyone); and the fragments then get temporarily locked into a filter through which reality is perceived a particular way. If the filters interrelate, and are coherent, society assumes everything is okay - balanced. The filters create the 'ego' or 'false self' and if this fits within the reality construct of the matrix, then the filters are acceptable. 

If the filters aren't coherent, if they don't fit together well, and the person appears somewhat unbalanced (or psychotic), then there's a tendency to medicate. What this often does, is suppress one or more of the filters so that you end up coming through just one 'acceptable' layer. When what's actually needed, is the progressive confrontation of the layers, by regressing into the experiences, and reclaiming the fragment of soul that is 'frozen' into that particular filter. Then the filter itself dissolves as the soul integrates. Coherency returns, but there is now a more authentic, and aligned relationship with reality.

When kundalini activates, it can be so powerful so as to be destablising. I've seen a number of people who got sectioned as a result. It usually happens when activation of kundalini happens prematurely for some reason. That's why at Openhand we strongly encourage working progressively through all the layers and integrating through them through meditation so that kundalini activates naturally.

My suggestion to you Shine on, is that when you're ready, to work with a facilitator skilled in such awareness, so as to regress and integrate back through those layers.

Wishing you well

Open Praying Emoji

Shine hi,

Felt to share with you a link to a very beautiful film that was recently released and which I feel speaks to your experiences a lot. It may offer some clarity together with Open's personal experiences. Its called Crazywise, here is the link:

Crazy Wise LoveHeart




In reply to by Aspasia

Thank you Aspasia. I just watched the trailer and it looks perfect. I'll probably watch the film within these next few days.

Thank you Open. I look forward to hearing your input on all of this.

I have also been researching natural remedies for bi-polar disorder. One man was saying how eliminating wheat and dairy cured his bi-polar. Another guy is saying that people with bi-polar need to take lithium orotate. I think I'm going to try this.

Food for thought! 

In reply to by shine on

Shine on, I look forwards to hearing your feedback on the movie - I thought it was excellent!

I am very interested in what we eat/consume (from edible food & drink to sense impressions and volition/motivation/values/consciousness) and the ways this affects our beingness on all levels - mental, physical, social, environmental, spiritual. In a few hours I am off to deliver a course on this! So, your comment was very synchronistic for me.

Yes, there is loads of objective evidence (there is a lot of bad research out there too!) that a wholefoods plants diet can help and very often cure mental health challenges. If you would like to explore this I would suggest these medical resources:

Dr Greger

Dr McDougall

Dr Klaper

Dr Neal Barnard

There are many fantastic youtube videos where they share their expertise - great stuff!


Hi Shine - thanks for raising the topic - an important issue that I have experience of. I'm currently involved in a retreat in Canada but will answer just as soon as I can.

Till soon

Open Praying Emoji