So, I'm looking for some help and guidance please.
I've had a heavy journey with OC [for about 5 years] and the last 2 years with someone I once did sweat lodges with [he can manipulate energy]. I don't wish to give energy to him - it makes it worse but I will describe what is happening.
I'm having a lot of rubbish dumped in me - it is heavy, makes me nauseous, I can become feverish, regurgitate it and generally it really weighs me down.
A few days ago I had a decent start to the day - and actually felt - I’ve had enough of this rubbish and this dumping of dirty energy in me - which is a healthy reaction I don’t often have - so attacks then followed.
I am aware he is playing a role and have had the knowing land of a contract of sorts to push me into awakening. Yet, it is on this level that it is to play out.
I am unsure of the direction I am to take with this and wondering of any guidance/insight.
1. Keep trying to integrate - and this will push him and OC out
(Though it really hard when every feeling of him [which is all day] and the attacking re-traumatises (dissociates) me.
2. There’s something in my subconscious (or past life experience) which I still haven’t looked at and need to see/admit ...so need to go into stuff deeper - which why I’m allowing it to continue.
I don’t wish to elaborate on him etc - it increases the energy/affect but it’s not just him, there is entanglement with the whole network of energy he uses - I think in 4D.
Where I'm at - is increased dissociation and psychosis. For the first time in five years of really heavy attacks and interference, I'm worried and scared about where I am, what to do and feel I need support here please.