Feeling right side in 3d


For a long time I have had issues with my right side particularly my shoulder. During the Transfiguration week I had karmic and energetic releases associated with this area. Oliver helped greatly with some amazing body work/massage - thanks Oliver ; ) and it felt like much shifted.

Since then the discomfort has returned and my right shoulder is at times quite painful. I have been noticing the difference between my left and right side. I sometimes find it difficult to locate my right side in 3d space. Either it feels like it has shrivelled away and is much smaller or it feels swollen and taking up much more space than in actual physicality. I suspect I am sensing into other "energetic bodies" and karma.

Some things are helping such as softening Into it, movement (soulmotion, yoga and stretching), the Open hand bow, self applied reflexology and sometimes lying on the ground or patting my shoulders to ground and feel the weight of my physical being. When I stretch it feels like a delicate balance between feeling and working with the pain, though not over doing it.

I have heard people discuss left/right imbalance previously and thought to share my current experience.


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Hi Marye,

I resonate with what you say about it feeling a little too much. Sometimes the karma comes in waves like this and it can be quite intense, my heart feels for you. I find that spending time in nature, exercise, shaking, dancing or other movement are ways in which I can integrate and release some energy. You will know what feels right and brings lightness for you. When going though such processing being gentle with myself and finding joy in the pauses between waves feels beneficial - ideally taking that break you feel you need, whenever the opportunity arises. Then I find I am more resourced when the next wave arrives. I agree that it's not easy, though the rewards are great :)

Sending love, gentleness and blessings your way, Fiona

Thanks Fiona and Open! I did also feel it was some karma coming up, as I went to a place that was beyond what I have experienced before. If only it was easier! At the moment I feel that as soon as I have gone through something, I initially feel lighter, but before I know a next wave of tightness is hitting me, such that by now I feel like it is a little too much and I need a break from it....

Yes indeed Marye - you've really embraced the Openhand Approach. And what's happened, is it's taken you through surface level identities - resistances that most people don't want to work past. In short, just as Fiona says, the exploration has taken you into your karma - a key purpose for your incarnation.

It's clear, that in a past life, you were persecuted for speaking your truth - which happened to many here. And now maybe that filter of karma has been preventing you from speaking out about your reality in your own life?

So this would be the layer to confront next. Feel into that. What does it mean to feel exposed and vulnerable?


Hi Marye,

It sounds like you had a very powerful exploration following Open's suggestions, I celebrate your honesty and bravery in exploring in the way that you have. I love how you explored ever deeper layers and when you say "If you speak/live your truth, you will be killed" that indicates karma to me. I am inspired by your sharing. *YES*

Best wishes, Fiona

Hi Open,

Thanks again for your guidance! It did as you suggested yesterday evening and went into the feeling of not being good enough and took an interesting ride…. From the feeling of not being good enough, I quite quickly moved into the feeling of ‘I don’t really matter. Only others matter. What I feel is not important’, which was accompanied by a deep sense of loneliness. And then suddenly I moved into some very intense fearful and painful feelings, I can’t really describe them in words, but what came to me as I was going through them was ‘If you speak/live your truth, you will be killed’. I went into it quite deeply, though I am not sure if I completely went to the bottom of it (I guess I will have to wait and see if more tightness around this arises or not), but I definitely felt a lot lighter when waking up this morning.

With gratitude!

and finally Open it clicks with your words. Tonight is going to be magical...I can feel it deep within. A knowing of what to do next. Thank you. :) Your community here at Openhand is a true gift from the DIVINE. My soul feels lightened every time I login and visit this community.

So the question is how do we get into our pain?

You've identified it as 'not being good enough' which is the first step.
The second step, is to fully express that. Now this is contrary to what many would say in the spiritual mainstream, who would have you perhaps 'think positive thoughts' and have you tell yourself that you are good enough. All this does, is create another false identity plastered on top.

You are the One. The One that is everything. How can it be better than, worse than, good enough or not good enough? It just is.

The key is to look for this sense of the One through the experience. To do that, you have to fully express the feeling itself - in this case of not being good enough. Let yourself be in it and bathe in it. If you can, trace it back to where it originated from - perhaps from a parent always telling you it wasn't good enough or expecting more.

Feel deeply into this. When you're expressing it, where do you feel it? It will likely be an emotional/mental tightness which you might feel in your sacrum or solar plexus or both. Keep feeling into this tightness, until you tire of it. Then get the sense you're opening out through the density of the energy - like opening a door. This will begin to bring you into the presence of the One.

If you keep working at it, ultimately the sens of not being good enough will simply dissolve. It brings you back to the shore of 'awesome okayness'.

But you do have to work at this. It's a practice.

Wishing you well


Dear Fiona,

I have recently been pondering the feeling of ‘not being good enough’ (though I rationally know there is no such thing as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ enough), which seems to lie at the root of a lot of my tightnesses and while exploring the Openhand website on this topic, I happened to stumble into your post and responses, and felt a great resonance. As long as I can remember I have had issues with my right shoulder, nothing severe, but it is definitely my physical weak spot. And particularly the first half of your last post about feelings of exclusion and being alone and then blaming yourself for not being good enough could have been written by me! Just reading it already made me feel less alone ☺! Also Open’s response on your post resonated with me a lot, though I am still not always sure how to practically go fully into the pain.

I have come to realize that the painful feeling of ‘not being good enough’ seems to pretty much run the show in my life and determine my behavior of trying to avoid this painful feeling and prove that I am somehow good enough. For example, I have a very strong fear of ‘failure’ and will always try to reduce the risk of failing as much as possible, because failing puts me in touch with that feeling of not being good enough. Also my difficulty with easily feeling ‘rejected’ is because it brings up the feeling of not being good enough. And I could go on….

I am trying to get in touch with this pain of not feeling good enough, but it seems to be quite a deep one and I sometimes wonder what karmic baggage might have caused this deep fear of not being good enough.

With love and thanks!

Hi Open,

Thank you kindly for taking the time to post here. I really do appreciate your insight.

I definitely have felt excluded and cast out at times in my life, beginning early in my childhood at school. How does it make me feel? Initially I tend to feel anger and jealousy and then I turn that inwards and have blamed myself feeling that I'm not good enough and it's my fault. Which results in me compromising myself more to try and fit in, making the situation worse. In the past this type of scenario has led me to feeling unlovable and depressed. It seems to have shifted quite a bit over the years, thought I still experience situations where this type of thing arises.

Interestingly this is coming to the fore at a time in my life where I am in many regards feeling alone in the physical plane. I've not long stepped out of a long term relationship, am without a home or much work and don't know what is coming next in my life. While this mostly feels okay and I trust that all will unfold as is meant to, it is also challenging me in remaining open and being alone. I am feeling the pain of that now in my heart.

I am grateful for the inspiration to connect more with my soul family, that has been really joyful over the past few days. I've had some lovely messages particularly in nature, notably the wind blowing, the sunlight through the trees and floating feathers. Also, the first bedtime story my friends little boy chose last night was about Leo the lion who was turned out from his pride as he didn't act as lions are meant to act - I saw the mirror!

The other thing that has arose for me with your reply is how I have a tendency to interpret or misinterpret synchronicity with rose coloured glasses. I suspect it's another level of a spiritual identity playing out or some other blind spot. I sense an invitation to be more honest with myself.

Many thanks again Open you have given me plenty to explore. Thanks also to my Openhand family, both here on the web and in the ether, I receive many gifts from the Openhand team.

With much love and deep appreciation, fiona

Hey Guys, mind if I butt in (pardon the pun!).

I'm on a much needed break - traveling freely around on Dartmoor and the coastal passes of Cornwall. But I do feel to tune into the web every now and then too.

I felt just to remind people, that in the Openhand Approach, it's not about trying to cure the problem, because every problem is the result of some self-realisation breakthrough wanting to happen. Then the problem will usually cure itself; or else we'll evolve on passing on into a new form.

In this sense, my intuition tells me it's all about the balance between the etheric and the physical. Usually the right side of the body reflects connection to the etheric higher planes; the left, the lower physical ones.

It's often the case that some physical resistance or limitation cuts people off karmically from a full integration of the higher planes (here and now).

To me the Black Sheep speaks strongly Fiona - where have you felt cast out in your physical life? How does this make you feel? Really though, I'd say this source pain, is what cuts you off from a deeper integration with your higher soul family - up in the ether.

So how to work with this?

Get into the physical source pain. Whatever that is - perhaps not being accepted - being the black sheep (literally). Activate and process the karma. But in the midst of it, work to connect with your soul family in the higher planes. Walk through this life much more in an interdimensional way.

Maybe this will help.

Of course when we make the self-realisation, the problem often fixes itself - or at least the way to right alignment and harmony is unblocked.

With love

Open *give_rose*

Fiona, I love that you have embraced the black sheep in such a profound way. Even though I have never met you I feel your authenticity, your "black sheepness" and I celebrate it with a big smile. I love how you connect with animal medicine and the medicine of the winged ones. In the human noise so many people miss all that the animals and birds are telling us.

The animals are coming to me very intensely in Montana. After the Big Horn ewe, two days later it was a Big Horn ram, who was so cheeky he kept posing. As I watched him move across an impossibly steep, rocky slope I really got the message of balance, of being aware of where my feet are: the grounding message.

Yesterday I was out in an area known as The Lamar Valley, one of my most favorite places on earth; a place I come to every year to meditate and sit on the hunting lands of my ancestors. Before I got to the Lamar, I had a wonderful interlude with a young male elk who was crossing the road. I got out of the car and immediately sat on the ground so that he would know I was no threat. And we looked at each other and I told him what a magnificent being he was, well he just puffed himself up and I got a clear message about being "confident" in who I am. Wear my antlers proudly! :-)

Not a mile later was a herd of antelope (pronghorns). I have always loved these speedy ground-covering ferraris of the plains. My grandmother's people say that antelope represents Action medicine: do the walk, not just the talk. Seeing them was a great reminder to me of their medicine.

As I reached the Lamar, my friends the buffalo were there, as they always are this time of year. But yesterday there were at least 1,000 of them. I have never seen so many of them in the valley. I sat on a rock near the river that runs through the valley, with the buffalo in front of me, behind me, and both sides of me. I don't have words to really describe what if felt like to be a tiny human in a sea of buffalo. I sat there breathing buffalo, breathing my ancestors, wiping tears of the beauty and the pain. Prayer and abundance, the medicine of buffalo.


Hi Tigger,

I love your experience with the big horn, thank you for sharing and I can certainly empathise with "too much human noise"!

Interestingly the day after my encounter with the black sheep I had an amazing day with birds. It began with freeing a female blackbird who had got tangled in some netting. It was amazing to hold her gently as someone else cut the net. Interestingly her right wing was the last thing to be unbound before she flew away.

Later that day I was hiking and this bird kept flying over and back, singing above my head. Eventually I received a message that it was a thank you from bird consciousness for assisting in the morning and with that the bird flew away.

The miracles continued when that night as I went outside there was a small bird on the doorstep. It didn't move just stayed there and so I lay on the ground beside it and inches apart we looked into each others eyes for some time. It was a very joyous connection.

I feel very grateful for our animal friends, all they show us and the joy they bring.

With love, fiona

Dear Cynthia,

You're meditation sounds wonderful, I can appreciate how healing and restorative your amazing meditation would be. (A)

You asked me in brackets "you a black sheep fiona?". This question really resonated and yes I am now embracing my black sheep. For too long I have tried to be a regular sheep to fit in with the flock, and to varying degrees follow the flock and their energy where it led. However no more, now it's time to find my way, to express my authentic beingness regardless of what the other sheep are doing around me. It's time to find my own place.

With love and gratitude to you dear friend, fiona

Hi Catherine,

Firstly apologies for my delay in responding. I have been travelling and so any internet access has been brief.

Thank you for your responses, they have been extremely insightful and appreciated. I too have been contemplating the split caused by the intervention and it's impact. They way you are working with it and taking responsibility sounds very powerful.

I am finding that being aware and gentle working with what I am physically feeling has been really beneficial. It's been a blessing to have time and space to explore it deeply.

And yes the time is NOW :)

With love and thanks, fiona

Since I first read Fiona's post, I've gradually been feeling into the experience of balancing the left and right sides of our physical bodies as mirrors to balancing our divine feminine and divine masculine energies. I've been daydreaming back to the time when original humans existed in unity and harmony with Gaia and Divine Benevolence when they trusted in the universal flow of inspiration and synchronicity without need to control or manipulate outcomes. How wonderful it feels to daydream about this state of harmony, bliss, and peace as we once existed in the Garden of Eden. Then the Intervention occurred when OC downgraded our DNA and separated the right and left hemispheres of our bodies. When I ponder my own spiritual journey about re-balancing and re-uniting my left and right sides, my mind and heart, it feels like I am attached to this traumatic memory when OC split original humans in two. It's part of my karmic journey to let this go, so that I can unify the divine feminine energy of acceptance and surrender with the divine masculine energy of purpose and action into wholeness and completion, once again. I will not likely ever experience a perfect body in this lifetime. But when I experience myself fully as the One, my physical imperfections simply don't matter. As Trinity said to me not long ago, "The 'One' doesn't know imperfection. It simply is. Through all things, yet beyond all things."

It's revealing to re-read my words above about creating anew "in the future" when, of course, the time to create anew is always in the Now, and not in tomorrow, as Open points out in his recent post and video. I am sensing a lot of fear behind my words about delaying acting in the moment when I feel the impulse to do so from my deepest authentic self. Fear related to experiencing the distortions of the divine masculine down through the eons both as a victim and a perpetrator. The time has come to undo the Intervention travesty, stop blaming myself, and take responsibility for letting go of the guilt, sorrow, and fear. The time to act in is the very moment that I release emotional distortions, find the Light beyond, and empower myself as the One. The time has come to blow OC away.

I'm so grateful for the revelations and insights related to your post, Fiona.

xxx Catherine

Fiona, I love your sheep story!

Three days ago I had a close encounter with a wild Big Horn sheep female. I am currently in Montana visiting my Mom, and was driving up the access road when I saw a cluster of Big Horns in the rocks. I pulled over, and grabbed my camera, and started moving slowly towards the little group of Big Horn females, talking to them. One left the security of the group and started moving down the rocks towards me. She cocked her head and I cocked my head in response. And we looked at each other. I wasn't more than 10 feet from her.

And in one spontaneous moment, our energies "met in the middle", filled the space between us. Not in a huggy kind of way, more like a bow, an acknowledgement. I couldn't help myself, I started to chuckle in the joy of that moment, and then she started to pant.

The words that I felt from her were: too much human noise.

And wouldn't you know it…since my encounter with her, I am feeling hyper sensitive to human sounds :-)

One of my favourite relaxations to do with people is to guide them through relaxing the R side of the body and then the L side - and then ask them to put the two halves together. It very rarely happens that the two sides are in alignment. Generally one side is much bigger/lighter than the other. It pointed out for me how very prevalent this imbalance of energies is. To physically see it, feel it and thus be able to deal with it is wonderful - and to be guided by a black sheep (you a black sheep Fiona?) is awesome.

I agree Catherine, the only way out is through. A personal example - most of my life I've railed against the constriction of time, feeling it like a straight jacket, and had not appreciated that not only does the pressure of this restriction/constriction act as a catalyst for change, but relaxing into the straight jacket is more apt to create the circumstance for its removal than fighting it. Houdini didn't resist the jacket, he worked with it!

Fiona, Catherine, warriors extraordinaire

Hi Fiona,

Since I can relate to what you're experiencing with your right shoulder and left/right body imbalance, I felt to share part of my own healing journey and what is helping me. I've had issues with imbalance between the left and right sides of my body for most of my life and continue to experience a partially paralyzed right leg due to polio as a young child. Currently, I am experiencing an imbalance in my upper body as well (arms, shoulders, upper back), since I've overused and worn out the left side of my body. I've been working with Garth, my chiropractor/shamanic healer, to balance body/mind/spirit. Garth relates the right side of the body to creating anew in the future and the left side to past memory. So when I see him, I work on letting go of what no longer serves me in the past so I can create new again. His treatments incorporate a healing approach very similar to the openhand way.

To help me regain the kinaesthetic sense of my right body, I use a visual construct. When I'm lying down, I move my eyes to the upper right corner of the room and then to the lower right corner of the room. Then I close my eyes and visualize my right lower leg and foot to help me locate it spatially and move into the future. To help regain left/right kinaesthetic balance, I lie down and touch my right knee with my left hand and vice versa to connect both sides.

When I experience pain in my left upper body during treatments, I work with past memories that arise and the emotions stimulated from those, becoming the Observer, surrendering to the feelings, and allowing them to flow through me without attaching to them. As an aid, Garth uses a highly skilled muscle testing technique that bypasses the ego to identify what age the blocked emotions relate to. It is uncannily accurate! It is Garth's take that pain in the right side of the body reveals an attempt to control the emotions. So when I have right-sided upper body pain, that is my cue to feel into what I'm suppressing and denying in order to surrender to it and let it go. This healing process is ongoing and has greatly intensified as I continue with my Candida cleanse diet and forego ingesting food and beverages that decrease my sensitivity and awareness. Not easy, to say the least, but I know the only way out is through.

I enjoyed reading about your synchronistic experience with the black sheep, Fiona. Amazing! I'm attaching an article that explores the concept of one body/two energies from a variety of perspectives that helped to expand my awareness.

Wishing you well with your journey.

Much Love,

xxx Catherine


After posting yesterday I was returning to the house where I am staying, which involves passing through a couple of fields with sheep. When I entered the field a black sheep busily munching on grass, caught my attention. I was able to go quite close to it and then it approached me, we connected for a short time and then it turned and slowly walked off in the direction in which I was headed. As it walked in front of me I could hardly believe my eyes. It's shoulders were noticeably misaligned. It's right shoulder was very raised. Today he was waiting for me as I entered the field from the other side and I lay down on the grass within easy arms reach beside him for a while. Quite miraculous!

This synchronistic sheep encounter felt like a reflection of my own exploration and seemed to be an affirmation that there is rightness in how I am accepting and working with my shoulder, which btw feels more balanced today.

Love fiona