Let me make this aforestatement : had it not been for me having experienced these things without other people I would have sought psychological help immediately. I am no slouch when it comes to psychology, the difference between real and imaginary (active lucid dreamer/ psychonaut) that being said I was fully awake and sober. I also was very agnostic/transcendentalist and moving closer to atheism ( even seeing crosses hanging on friends walls or from rear view mirror started to make me go "eck")
In 2011, my roommate brought a girl home (not uncommon), I was for some reason reluctant to meet her. Usually I am the happy go lucky guy that loves to meet everyone, but that night he had to force me to meet her. We will call her She from now on. The next morning/afternoon my roommate had to go to work and She and I hung out. I started talking about the ratio I want to get, something I have been working on and expanding for about a decade and am finally ready to start. When I got to the part describing my best friend's son (my true love in life) it will be made up of a swirl of my friend's and his wife's aura. Going back to being a psychonaut I see people's auras on mushrooms- and for that matter mushrooms have never been "party" for me, they have been a spiritual experience every time. She replied with a knowing look "you can see people's auras". Not even with a ? on the end of it. I explained that yes I could. She then grabbed ahold of the curiously colored crystal around her neck and said "Now, this does not come off, but I kind of have a feeling about you, grab ahold of it and tell me everything that you feel". So I did- "it's cold, really cold, wait... It's getting much warmer, it's kind of hot but not really" it was hundreds of degrees and yet not uncomfortable. "wait a sec, it's, it's changing..." I said "it's pulsating like, like electricity, but..."
"shhh" She whispered "accept it, and tell me what you see"
I started drifting into a vision, it's hard to describe because I knew and could feel that I was in the same room, and yet, the entire scene shifted and I was in a corn field, at about ten years old, the one behind my cousins house, it was a beautiful day, the breeze
Blowing the dew off the razor like fronds sprouting from the ground. I was describing this out loud to She and She said one of the most beautiful words I have ever heard "home".
Suddenly the crystal starting pulsating stronger and more rapid and all of a sudden, almost jarringly (if it were not for the comfort) we were somewhere else. We both started describing the scene "fields, endless fields
With wooden fences" "pigs, turkeys, cattel" "the cotton candy clouds, the whispers on the breeze" "a two story wooden house with an enchanting smell smoking out of the chimney".
Then I "I see a cherokee man, older, his double braided pony tail is greying, wearing a white cowboy hat. He's , he's so happy. " I start to tear " he's smiling and laughing, and god he is sooo happy"
Through tears of her own, She says " What is he saying? Focus, try to hear him"
I focused, for a little I could see his lips
Moving but could not make out what he was saying. Then it became clear "It's not you fault. He's saying it's not your fault. He says he was happy to do it."
Then he started going back (?) (I had a feeling he was riding on a horse but I never saw the horse) to the cabin, the connection was lost, and She started sobbing "That was Jeff!". She then went on to explain to me that her father kidnapped and raped her when she was young, Jeff, whom she now refers to as her father, tried to kill him to protect her (the judicial system failed them over and over) and was put in prison for twenty years, where he died.
We just kind of bullshited for awhile to kind of take in what had just happened (even though she was in to this kind of thing, which prior to I had been more than dubious of, she had never experienced something like that. As we were talking suddenly a presence sat in-between us, we both looked " you feel her too?" she asked, "how could I not feel your grandmother". Then the whole room started to fill up with my friends and relatives that had passed. Including my cousin who committed suicide, and I tell you even now as I write this I cannot hold back the tears. They were all there for me, they knew I would need strength for what was to come.
This next part needs some backstory: sorry I didn tell you earlier to make some popcorn or something
Several months prior, between 2:53 and 3:00 am I was awoken by my covers being pulled off of me, then I was attacked. I immediately knew that I was battling for my soul. My left arm twisted back around my back in a way it shouldn't have been able to and I fought and fought for control of it. Then I saw it, a tall long haired lanky shadowy figure overtop of me. I have never been so scared in my life. I fought it and prayed for the first time in years and fought it and shouted "no, this is me!" and then it left me, I got up but still saw it, the cat ran in and hissed at it. I ran around turning every light in the house on and then fell to my knees in the kitchen, sobbing and asking for forgiveness.
The day after I told my two best friends, and said it either really happened, I was going schizophrenic, or that it was a night terror ( something I used to get alot hence the lucid dreaming practice)- the other two not being possibilities for me, I chose to believe it was another night terror.
Ok back to the scene, we had just "come down" I guess you could say from seeing our relatives when we both saw and felt it. It looked like me but it wasn't me. "You feel that don't you, that negative shadow, you've never been baptized have you?". "no I haven't" "well would you?" "yes" I answered immediately "no" she said "I mean like really, would you take it to heart take it seriously?" I thought for a moment and then replied with a truthful "yes"
That is when I felt the most terrified and empowered in my life. As in a response to my yes, we both heard a laugh that unfortunately I will never be able to forget coming from my right by my feet and we both looked at it.
She calmly but hurriedly said "sit sit sit" then she blessed water and started the baptism. I felt it jump into me, at which point i got a text from my roommate which i later found out was "whats going on" because he felt a strong urge to make sure i was ok, saw it's reflection In her eyes "who are you" she said
"I'm me" I kind of said
"who are you?"
"I am Jonathon Ryan Travis Vann and no one else" I said with a sort of authority. I felt more of myself come back and then a voice said through her "All you need to do is ask and all
Will be forgiven"
So I did, through tears, as an angel cradled me.
My eyes changed color that day, they lost their grey which had been with me for years
About a week later my roommate got home from work and had to
Defend himself, fucking a kid up pretty bad ( he works security at a club). He has done some horrible things in his past which he cannot forgive himself for and you could see it oozing out of him. We were sitting on the couch watching a movie when i started noticing something skittering around the apartment, it was small, but evil and noticeable. I was watching it for a little when my roommate (a complete nonbeliever I'm these things) said "what the fuck is that?" so we decided to confront it, that's when it jumped into him. He tasted something metallic that was overwhelming and his eyes changed and he couldn't remember his name. Relics he at first sought out he then tossed away from him. I was able to get him back but it was still with him.
About a week after that She and I and a friend decided to do a sage cleansing of my place. We ended up chasing this thing around until we had it cornered. The sage seemed to make it angry, and she opened up one of my bibles to a random verse that oddly seemed to recount my situation with this evil. It really did not like that. It jumped into her, so much so that I talked interchangeably with it and She. It told me it's name, and for about an hour I fought with it until it seemed to vanish. I then realized Ithat a seed pod which for some reason I had to take with me from a tree near my work (don't know why, it rattles, just felt the need) had turned black, and I felt as though it had been captured inside it. For good measure I decided to put it in a jar of holy water, salt, and garlic. I set it out on my front porch til I figured out what to do with it.
Two days later I went out not the porch to
Join her for a smoke "what the fuck is that noise?" I asked as I looked at the bottle
"you hear it too then"
The bottle was bubbling , almost boiling and it sounded like 16 crickets in nonstop unison.
So I put it in a box with some other trash and took it towards the dumpster, on my way there the box got heavier and heavier until I almost couldn't bear to hold it, then I started having and coughing and had trouble breathing, my whole body thrown into a coughing fit. I finally was able to throw it away and it took me awhile to recuperate but, since then I have not seen nor felt this demon.
A couple of months after that- months of feeling energy course through me and feeling the energy others were putting out both positive and negative- it all became too much for me to handle at work so I turned it off. And I've lost it once again. I know it's there but I just can't quite get it anymore- and it's the most depressing thing in my life. I know my path is to be an empath- I have taken others pain and witnessed others suffering and suffered through it with them. I just wish I hadn't denied myself my gift.