Knocking at gateway 1? or 2?

I was originally introduced to Openhand in this last 4 months but you're speaking a truth I've known in myself for much longer.

I've held the opinion for a long time that ascension is the only real meaninful goal for my life.

After completing my attendance at the Nine Gates myster school (ninegates.org) in April 2011, one of my fellow graduates sent me a link to watch the 5 gateways film.

I watched it through start to finish even though I was just supposed to be checking my email. You recognise your truth when you see it.

My understand of going through gateway 1 is that you have an expereince of oneness / unity consciousness / peak experience. Since discovering these I've learning more about them especially peoples description of their experience.

From what I understand of peak experiences I can't say I have had one, or anything like one. Yet I am still very conscious and hold many of the views Chris describes that a person will hold after gateway 1 (conscious eating, where does the cloth come from that makes your clothes etc).

Because of my many years of exposure to traditional an American personal development I still have a lot of stuff in my pulling me towards wealth and accumilating possessions. Yet I know that's all conditioning so while it doesn't have a strong hold over me it does leave me torn.

The other half of me yearns for further spiritual development and my obsession with peak experiences is fuelled by a belief that if I could just get that taste I would become more aligned.

I know the spiritual path is not effortless and it is not easy work. I have been working diligently on my spiritual development but go round a cycle of frustration. At Nine Gates for example, many of the other 17 students went through wonderful awakening and transformative experiences. I came out as conscious as when I went in which was hard for me because I wanted a breakthrough.

That's not to say I was attached to an expectation I'm aware of that. I also know that spiritual work is often counter intuative (letting go vs effort) and I have embraced that but because of my lack of direct experience of oneness I have to exert my conscious will to continue on the path. I guess something inside me is making a point that if I'm not progressing, why am I continuing?

Chris says the key to gateway 1 is in self observation. To realise we are the witnessing awareness to all experiences. I have been practicing this diligently ever since I read A New Earth and meditate daily cultivating my attention on the breath, yet I'm without any sign posts that I am on my way.

I run a marketing business now but I'd love to ditch that in favour of a spiritual business. The 5 Gateways program appeals to me very much but I have to get my pre-requisites done first by attending some courses. The other obstacle is that I don't think I've even gone through gateway 1 yet so most of my understanding is on the intellectual leve.

If that were the case though and it were only intellectual, I would doubt 5 gateways and Chris and Trinity touch my like they do whenever I watch them.

I've noticed when Chris responds he likes quite a bit of detail to work with so I'll add one more thing. I've somehow managed to cultivate a perspective of almost complete objectivity, of non-judgement. When people make suppositions for example, I instantly recognise it as one and create the opposite in my mind, niether of which holds more sway over me.

When someone makes a statement about another person I can instantly see the beleifs and assumptions that are clouding that persons view.

When I find myself in a particular energy state or reacting to a situation I check inside and then spell out a belief I must have sub consciously to cause that.

This is my ongoing work. But I just feel like I need a shove, just a little shove over the line so I can get a peek at the oneness and it'll help me align in the way I desire so badly.

Whatever the response you have my unconditional gratitude.

(Chris if you want even more, I wrote a blog post on my understanding of oneness last month here http://www.chrisconey.com/2011/05/peak-experiences-oneness/)

Comments

Hi Chris,

Thanks for joining us on Openhandweb and sharing your story - you are most welcome here :smile:

I'm glad you liked the "5Gateways" film. It is intended to educate, stimulate and catalyse. However, there was a limit to the information we could include of course, without it being huge in length.

You may or may not have noticed Lesley talk about the "pre-Awakening" state. This is quite typical for people waking up. It's where we get a taster of the soul but the soul doesn't yet begin to infuse. It can happen especially if we get involved in spiritual courses where the collective vibration can raise ones state momentarily.

But if we're not ready, we'll release back down to the lower vibration. In such circumstances, the taster is so exquisite, we simply know it's all we want in life. Yet it's exactly such wanting that causes us to tighten and close down again internally. I know this well because it happened to me two years before my Awakening.

I have the tendency to be able to read through people's words to get to what their soul is saying. Intuitively there's quite a good deal of confirmation in what you're saying that you're in that pre-Awakened state. For example...

    The other half of me yearns for further spiritual development and my obsession with peak experiences is fuelled by a belief that if I could just get that taste I would become more aligned.

I sense it is the obsession that's holding you back. Mind has owned a perfectly naturally inner aspiration of the soul. You also say...

    "I know the spiritual path is not effortless and it is not easy work. I have been working diligently on my spiritual development but go round a cycle of frustration."

It seems pretty clear to me that you're trying too hard. Awakening comes from a softening inside - a complete surrender. Spirituality of course is not a course! Yet many people go from course to course gathering skills but not more soul infusion. Pradoxically such activity can hamper the Awakening.

I'd say what would really help now is to stop looking, stop searching and efforting. Enlightenment is not a place. It is not something we try to attain. It comes by surrendering sense of separate identity - including spiritual identities!

So I'd say stop looking. Keep confronting what you're feeling inside. Confront the compulsion to stay in the material but don't effort to leave it. Simply keep watching it. I imagine that when you give up searching and resisting, that's the moment the Awakening can happen.

Yes indeed. Yet the path for each of us is unique. For some, what holds them back is lack of commitment and attention. For others, it is an over abundance of them. In replying to your post, I wasn't coming from mind. I wasn't thinking about the right strategy of what to say. I was connecting in the spaces between your words and making an observation. And within that, i still feel resistance from you.

There is a 'want' that is a naturally arising aspiration of the soul. This is what leads to enlightenment. But as this aspiration feeds its way through the bodymind, a particular personality will 'own' it and form an internal identity around it - one that wants to succeed. This identity is what then holds them back because it swallows up presence into the eddy current of need.

For some, dunking ones head in water may lead to letting go, for others it will cause resistance! For some, simply sitting quietly on the park bench of life is what's really necessary.

How does one go beyond materialism, beyond the 3 dimensional world without some direct personal experience?

Without some kind of glimpse of what you're heading for we are left only with will power to see us through.

I believe that people who obtain wealth are fortunate in as much as they get direct personal experience that happiness and enlightment are not found through the third dimension.

This solidifies their conscious committment towards the inner world without the distraction of society trying to drag them back into the drama. They have seen what it's like to have it 'all' in the 3rd dimension and know from direct experience that society's message is incorrect.

But for those of us who have not yet broken through the glass ceiling of materialism, for those of us who have not had a near death experience or a quantum moment, how do we make progress on the path with committment?

I am still half trapped in the 3rd dimension with a desire to obtain wealth purely for the reason of going beyond it. I currently believe this is going to be the only way, short of a quantum moment, that will shift my consciousness sufficiently.

Please comment.

Yes to a degree I agree with you Chris. You've got to feel the dissatisfaction to know that it doesn't serve.

Let's be clear though, materialism is not just about wealth. It's about identification with material experience of any kind. If you think some particular material manifestation whether it be wealth, good health a partner or any kind of physical security, then ultimately, you will be found lacking.

For some, they can see right through the illusion of material wealth without having to go there. For them, perhaps what they're trying to find is material security within a relationship. Maybe they'll go from relationship to relationship not being fulfilled.

But everyone does not need some kind of 'peak experience' to break the cycle. I'd say only if you have very strong energies that have become very lost might you need that kind of breakdown. For some, they'll wake up one day and just 'get it'. They'll be sitting on a park bench and suddenly appreciate life in a different way.

For me, it actually wasn't the car crash that caused me to let go of the need for material wealth. That had happened many years earlier. It was the simple result of working in industry and buying new stuff with my ever increasing pay-packet. I remember it took about six months to see through that one. Then I gave up my job without anything to go to.

If you've not reached that place yet, nothing can take you there until you're ready to surrender. My advice would be to keep doing what you can't resist doing until you eventually realise the only place to get satisfaction is to find completeness within.

So if material wealth is still attracting you Chris, I'd say go and try to manifest as much wealth as you can. Invest yourself as heavily as your ego wants to, until it bursts itself. Are you not at that point already yet? Can you not see that the mere question you're holding within is going to stop you being materially wealthy anyway?

This is what I meant when I said that the spiritual path is often counter intuitive. A paradox if you will.

While I'm aware that it is most likely conditioning from mainstream 'personal development' that has installed the desire for material wealth, I did not internally recognise it as the truth like I did when I started studying the wisdom traditions.

You're always talking about what's individually true for us and when I started reading Eckhart Tolle it was as if I already knew everything he was saying. I could have written the book but the knowing was just underneath the level of awareness that would allow me to access it.

I suppose that's the purpose of absorbing spiritual teachings, they give us clues and reflections to help us with self discovery and I enjoy that process very much. I found myself yesterday saying 'If I could just make sharing this stuff my work, I would be happy to do that until my dying day'.

By 'this stuff' I was referring to everything I have learned about the human condition and how a wider awareness of the causes of suffering would make all the difference in the world.

But there's still the conditioning of materialism pulling on my shirt constantly trying to get my attention and it is alluring. What I was getting at before is if I could just rid myself of this I would be free to shine.

Hi Chris,

You say...

    "You're always talking about what's individually true for us and when I started reading Eckhart Tolle it was as if I already knew everything he was saying. I could have written the book but the knowing was just underneath the level of awareness that would allow me to access it."

There's a great line by Morpheus to Neo in the matrix as he points to the door of his destiny... "there's knowing the path, and there's walking the path". So you have an intellectual understanding of what walking the path means? Congratulations, but it's only the start. It means nothing if we don't truly walk the path and experience it fully for ourselves.

You say...

    'If I could just make sharing this stuff my work, I would be happy to do that until my dying day'.

I said exactly the same to thing to myself several years ago. I had a company to run, mortgage to pay, maintenance commitments etc etc. But they're all just excuses. There's only one way to live from 'sharing this stuff' and that is to live it. Whatever comes, whatever sacrifice, live it.

I'm reminded of a story about Gandhi. A woman brings her young son to meet him and asks him to tell her son to stop eating sugar because it's bad for him. Gandhi asks the mother to bring her son back in two weeks. Two weeks pass and the mother presents her son to Gandhi, upon which Gandhi says to the boy... "stop eating sugar, it's not good for your health". The boy nods obediently. As they are leaving, the Mother politely asks Gandhi "so why didn't you tell him that two weeks ago?" Gandhi replies "I had to give up eating sugar myself first!"

There's knowing the path and walking the path. Time to give up eating sugar!

What a great video clip!

And excellent Ghandi story too...

We can only authentically share that which we have fully discovered in ourselves.

Hi Cynthia, it's a good question.

A 'Gateway' is the passage through a dimension (or density). People will confront their attachments to various of the densities mostly sequentially. Although they could be working on several simultaneously, each is likely to be completed sequentially.

For example, you can't pass through Gateway 2 completely (alignment with the divine flow), before you've fully let go in the physical (Gateway 1).

Each passage is usually marked by some kind of 'ceremony', orchestrated by the universe. Some kind of spontaneous event marked by the expansion of consciousness that occurs when we've fully released attachment to each density.

Blessings

Open