Dear Friends of Openhand, Kundalini activation and flowing towards Transfiguration can be so disorienting. Reassuring feedback via posts/emails and understanding of the process stabilized my experience and helped me dodge a possible pharmacological interference. This thread sprouted spontaneously from the “Etheric Moon Circle” Forum posted by Helen. I felt a pull to migrate it here and let the Moon Circle flow their lovely way. I received personal sharings from few other Openhanders who identify with the process. Let this be a place for those who choose to share their journey through the Dragon's Gate. It all started here:
OVERWHELMING REALITY CHANGES
It all began with the reality shifts that made me suspect I may be suffering mental/brain illness:
- Spontaneously feeling of being one with the elements of the world (clouds, trees, horizon, people)
- An overload of issues/distortions demanding my attention leading to exhaustion.
- Energy flowing through my body, moving it spontaneously during Aikido classes.
- Changes in relationships – some friends became 2 dimensional and I withdrew energy from the relationships.
- Meeting strangers that speak words as if from a movie, for example: “I was waiting for you to contact me. It seems it is the right time for you now to begin this lesson”
- Seeing and feeling the dragon symbol a lot (symbol of Kundalini). Seeing another presence within myself (the Asian man, my higher self)
- Sense that my life is a movie and I’m going crazy.
In this place, there will be two strongly competing influences going on inside - and inside your head. There'll be the old reality, which will have systems of behaviour you're used to - the old Margaret. And you also building a new, multidimensional landscape - the "movie". Except this new "movie" is more real than reality! This multi-dimensional movie is mostly perceived in a physical way through the right side of the brain. And it does take time to integrate left and right as the Transfiguration kicks in. It tends to highlight the separation in both sides. And it takes time to break up the old neural pathways and reconnect new channels. Be discerning about who you share these experiences with in your vicinity. The majority will not 'get it'. Even most 'awakened' people are only partially awake and struggle with the impact of full blown kundalini. Look for a buddy to share with as you progress through this transition. Someone aware of such matters who you can communicate with on a regular basis - even daily.
- Being in a frequent dialog with the “outside world” that now feels like it’s flowing out from me and rearranging itself depending on how I am being. Major synchronicities happening that speak to me strongly, for example: I stopped at a supermarket to get bananas for the road and thought “I’m really liking all these synchronicities” and I felt slight tightening/grasping. “Wow, I’m choking the flow, what do I do now?”… I looked up and a label said “soften”… My ego kicked in wanting to own some of the experience, the next sign said “Caution, Slippery!”. Slippery ground, indeed. Somehow I softened and didn’t trip at that point.
- The moments of oneness, where I am the world and the world is me are intensifying. There is a sense that each expression naturally unfolds into the next and a new state emerges to be then transformed again. I’ve noticed these moments of oneness eradicate blame, resistance and holding on to experiences.
- The Asian man is now imprinted in my third eye and seems to be my higher self. I feel his presence stronger now. It presence intensifies in moments when I need to pay more attention to what's unfolding. In short, there is a communication between me and my higher self.
- Even the short moments of reconnection seem to reverse years of conditioning imprints. They reveal something that feels like sparkling potential that allows form to manifest and the gentle humming of the mysterious organizing force that generates my reality. I begin to suspect, this humming is coming from me.
- Feeing like I’m in the process of demolishing an artificial structure that used to be me. And there is no other way.
These experiences are totally real in the multidimensional state. I call it the "quickening". Keep riding the wave. Let it take you, but always remember it's not about the physical outcome in the 3D world - it's all about how you feel and what you integrate at a soul level. It's important that you also work to stay grounded as this is all unfolding. Stay connected to the Earth as well - to the 3D. Stay grounded but keep pushing forwards - a channel is opening. And yes, this 'dream' will become much more real than the old drama.
- Experiencing a strong feeling of losing someone close, wanting to hold on to her longer. Fear of losing the old Margaret forever, but knowing that she has to go. Crying and crying more.
- Feeling tremendous love and compassion towards the set of experiences called “Margaret”. Wanting to honour her departure with a ceremony.
- Feeling larger gap between the Margaret consciousness and the higher self consciousness. Not identifying with the name “Margaret” in those moments.
- Buzzing and having hard time sleeping
- Becoming the Asian man, "Lao" consciousness and seeing Margaret as a separate entity.
As you move into Transfiguration, there's a sense of being two beings at once then switching from one to the other. So now you're becoming your higher self, looking back at Margaret the lower self. And there's a grieving because you know that it's time for the lower self to leave. As the false aspects of the lower self dissolve away, lower self merges into higher self and you become One - the One. Integrate the feeling of 'Lao'. Then you'll know what to do in due course - just let it all happen.