My journey so far

I didn't know how else to introduce myself to this wonderful community ,so I thought I would start a thread. i have been lurking around Openhand Forums for the last 1 year anonymously thanks to my friend Cathy :) but have really started to "get" the process only in the last 2-3 months .
I am an empath and its only in the last few months do I feel comfortable in that fact . It has taken me this long to learn to accept and process the enormous amounts of sensations and emotions I feel on a daily basis . I am in a profession that actually harnesses my empathic ability beautifully ( I'm a neonatologist and work in a womb like environment with small babies ) but my sensitivity is continually challenged living in a country where there are raptors on the rampage everywhere. Yet, my journey has been quite easy compared to many on this site ( I look at your stories and really feel so lucky-I am incapable of the enormous courage you have!). I am a mother of a wonderful little star seed and Im married to somebody who I used to think of as materialistic but who is continually surprising me with his own internal shifts .
My awakening came in fits and spurts and the last 5 years have been an interesting internal journey . I was meditating sketchily ever since med school ( just to be able to cope with all the sorrow and darkness I was exposed to)but its when I learnt mindfulness meditation that I was able to come home to myself emotionally rather than roam in the mental plane that was far neater than the landscape of my complex emotions . The last few years personal and professional challenges have catalyzed me to embody a lot of the spirituality I read but somehow could not internally access . I am still learning or rather unlearning.In the past 3 months I have been doing the Presence process that has been a revelation in getting to know the unconscious beliefs and sensations that keep me chained. This Process really speaks to me at the phase I'm in and shares a lot with the 9 step process you outline . I am attempting to integrate many uncomfortable emotions and child/teenager selves .I feel like I have recently just turned the corner of the spiral and can see how little I know and how much there is to integrate as far as my conditioning is concerned .
Right now I am feeling unravelled . Very uncertain of myself as my whole being is rocked with mini tremors every time another emotion is integrated.I too have many of the "ascension symptoms " many have outlined with weird aches pains ,tingling buzzing sensations. ( I have this weird sensation as if something is pulsing against my right ear drum right now :) ) Dancing ,walking and playing with my eight year old is what keeps me grounded somewhat though I am frequently overwhelmed .
I am deeply drawn to the Shakti tradition and am also drawn to working with a few women who are in difficult situations as a guide and mentor . I love gardening and composting and have a visceral connect with plants and animals .
I have always had that gnawing feeling like I'm on the wrong planet and now I am happy to be with others of my ilk :) . I have a feeling I will attend an Openhand session soon,I am just waiting for the signs that tell me when it is right .
Finally, the night you accepted me into this circle I dreamt I had gone into the home of an older male pediatrician and was playing on the lawn with his many puppies . Just then two bald eagle one dark and one light came soaring overhead .
Thank you for this work . It is a light that shines for so many like me even half way around the world .

With lots of Love,
Megha

Comments

As a newbie to Openhand myself I must say that I have found my Tribe, Finally!!!! The Energy of the gatherings is indescribable in words. Extremely Catalytic is the only way I can explain it!!! I look forward to meeting you in person somewhere down the path.
Love and (Hugs) Eddie

Megha! I'm thrilled to read your introduction here on the Openhand forum and to feel your beautiful, compassionate, shining spirit blessing us all! I so concur with Trinity: sharing and reaching out can help big time. I can't begin to describe the way it's helped me to evolve and grow and stay committed in those dark hours that eventually bring us home to the Light.

Much love, soul sister!

x Cathy