I’ve been following Openhand for over 12 months now. Lurking around the perimeter! Finally I walk through the front door.
It started when I was 9 - the detachment, the feeling of difference and awkwardness. The homesickness for a home I had never been. Much time spent alone sitting on rock outcrops. Feeling them hum. Listening to great old trees sing. I was dismayed when adults informed me I was feeling only the movement of air and earth.
The remainder of my life was spent with my nose pressed against a window. Watching how the rest of the world interacts all the while attempting to fit in. Always failing. I danced too much. I laughed too hard. I was always a little “too much” to fit in.
Last year after 30 years of traumatic events I succumbed to PTSD breakdown. When the psychologist asked me “how do you really feel” I didn’t hold back ... I erupted and spewed out exactly how I felt. To my amazement she asked “are you a light worker?”
2 days later I drove 17 hours in response to a tug to be in the Daintree. The most ancient rainforest. I left it all. The job. The mortgage. The pretence. I engaged with the forest and I heard the trees sing and I felt the thrum of the rocks. I sobbed and precipitation dropped from leaves and made a river down my face. I experienced a post traumatic healing.
Its not been easy this last 12 months. But it has been authentic. It’s been connected. It’s been energetic and enlightening. It’s been the better version of me!
with heartfelt thanks for embracing me.