Oneness

Perhaps my turbulent experiences early in my calling were simply the idea that I was somehow separate from the Universe. Admittedly, I was proud and arrogant, living in a world of images, invincible in my own reality, and too preoccupied to check my self image with my actual manifestations. Today I now understand the importance of getting inside nature, being grounded and responsible for the now, but the ego I had built around my self then became a nook that would no longer allow me to grow. My greatest challenge.

When I received my calling I wasn't surprised at all, and I even welcomed it. But, not long after I was sending pleas to the Universe calling for aid. The turbulence, the devastating blows, why? The idea of separation had to be dropped slowly.

The aid from the Universe was far from sparse, and I became almost obsessed with learning from the materials I was receiving. Everyday, I would acquire my own impressions from the knowledge I was acquiring second-hand from others well before my time. I know we like to think this sort of thing is a new phenomena, but it's probably as old as the written word.

Anyways, my first real break through was several years later during a breathing exercise routine in the mornings while the sun was rising. The layer of separation became thinner and thinner until I experienced, to be brief, a very blissful state. Naturally, my most powerful manifestation occurred later that week, the same blissful state that followed, something I'll always vividly remember for the rest of my life, and I was a little frightened of myself after that receding away still even to this day.

I'm certain it's a natural reaction. I'll probably return to the oneness pursuit eventually, and until I set that goal for myself again in the meantime I've found creation and control to be quite entertaining (and safe!).

Comments

It's curious that fear holds us back. I've been afraid my whole life. But, when I read your words I ask myself, what's this person afraid of? I had a similar experience in the morning sun, bowing with the dandilions. As the wind blew my hair, I felt at one with everything. I opened my eyes to watch the ants, busy in the dirt. I kissed the grass that brushed my lips. But when the wind picked up and I felt pieces of my self drift away I pulled myself up and walked away, back to "life" as usual.

Since a young child I've always had an interest in divination, but it wasn't until the end of puberty that these qualities distinguished themselves within my personality.

During the turbulent time of my calling the clairaudience was quite overpowering, but an unusual method of divination paralleled with me; through changes in atmospheric and celestial conditions. This was my sort of relief, because, it was very much clairsentient, and it gave me strength by supporting the belief that I would overcome this daunting obstacle. But, the clairaudiance was still relentless.

A unique experience started me down a path after a friend had let me borrow his mothers fender electric guitar without her permission. I simply touched the strings on the guitar one evening, and I saw, felt, and heard an emotional experience this woman had. Exactly like I was experiencing it through her eyes. After that experience I began using Clairvoyance to predict when it would rain or snow, because, I was constantly in need of relief, and it was fairly accurate. This is where it gets a little interesting, because, it started to feel like I could control the weather. I could see that there was a chance that it'd rain within the next couple of days, and I'd ask for a stronger chance, more intense, stronger winds, or lightning.

I had a lot of fun playing in storms. But, someone had noticed.

I had a breakthrough finally during a routine breathing exercise while the sun was rising. And, as usual during the day I'd be looking for the next rainy day, stronger chance of rain, and lightning roughly four days away. The day neared, and I ask for the intensity of the lightning to increase.

I was at work the day the storm arrived. I took a break, and walked out into it. The rain droplets were enormous, and I was completely soaked instantly. But, I was filled with joy and laughing. I tossed my arms above my head into the air yelling, "Yeaaah!" and lightning struck from directly above me striking the hill behind my work. The thunder followed less than a second after the flash, and it was so deeply loud. And, the same feeling from my breathing exercise earlier that week appeared to extend from the source of that thunder, and wash across me and the entire valley. Lightning continued to rain down around the small town of 80,000 people.

The next day I encountered a very interesting man at my work. He had a very attractive quality in his aura. I was curious, so I stepped out to see who he was. He was wearing a red colorful vest, had a beard, and glasses. He smiled at me. I wasn't at all threatened by him. So, the day after that two Canadian military CF 18 hornets ripped over our little town. Both the pilots, one male one female, stopped in at my place of employment. The male was very compassionate, his heart was completely open, and you could see it in his eyes. But, the female pilot was looking for something. I could literally see her scanning the place, and I felt threatened by her.

The finite definition of fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. The man wearing the red vest, and the two pilots gave me the impression that I might be that someone or something that is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. And, that frightened me thus I receded for years until only recently.

I ran out into a lightning storm with my girlfriend this week. I felt rejuvenated.

If we don't get rain we get fire

Most people have been enjoying the weather this summer, and the interior of British Columbia was experiencing a heat wave for a week or two. When I went to ask when the next rain fall will be likely be there was some presence that interfered, and her intentions were clear; she was enjoying the sunshine.

I was quite annoyed by this, and spoke into the space inbetween, "if we don't get rain we get fire" three or four times that evening. The next day forest fires were evident, and two days after that the skies over our city were a smokey haze. Health authorities issued air-quality advisory to the area.

Four or Five days ago I caught the scent of rain coming. Since the forest fire about 45 minutes from my town was still not under control I asked for increased intensity as I've done in the past. And, seeded the storm over the next few days. An incredible yearning came over me at one point while seeding, and it pulled vigorously, invigorating my emotional and physical states.

The storm arrived yesterday, and only lasted 25-30 minutes. It was enough to flash flood most of the city, and at least 3 others including the tiny highway town beside the forest blaze. As far as I've heard no one was hurt, but there has been a lot of damage done.

A quote from the news

"A torrential storm made its mark felt across much of British Columbia over the course of 12 hours Wednesday.

It started in Kamloops, where a cell of torrential rain caused flash flooding, turning roads into rivers and flooding basements.

But the storm soon spread to the Shuswap, the Okanagan, and eventually the Kootenays, causing torrential mudslides, thunderstorms, and downed Hydro poles.

Global BC meteorologist Yvonne Schalle says thunderstorms at this time of year aren’t uncommon – but the intensity of today’s weather was noteworthy."

Not too surprising I have mixed emotions. I don't anticipate CF 18 hornets this time round though due to recent Russian activity around the arctic.