Okay. Some things cannot be ignored.
So, during the past couple of months, I had three dreams with a very similar content: sea waves coming towards me, scaring me and 2 of them shaking me! I have recorded them in a dream journal so here they are in some detail:
The first one, I remember being at the sea shore and seeing this massive wave coming towards me. The wave shook a long vehicle (bus?) with four open doors, that was in the sea. My first reaction from the shore was to go backwards and into a 'warehouse' to seek for protection, and I stood behind a pillar to protect myself. After a while, I realised that if the bus was to come towards me, it would not hit me but it would keep me trapped in the warehouse. Soon, the water reached me, and I started flying upwards trying to escape- finding jail bars in front of me that made it difficult to escape... (for some reason I think these bars represent my previous relationship)
The second dream (approximately a month ago) was very similar. This time, I was inside a vehicle in the sea. I could see the waves from the window and started to get worried. Suddenly a big wave comes and shakes the vehicle and me inside. I saw someone who was sleeping inside the vehicle waking up due to the wave, and me opening a side window to get away and save myself.
The third dream, was two days ago. I was parked somewhere with friends and it was time to leave. The other car started its journey but I noticed that I didn't have the keys of my car. I knew where I had left them and went there. When I arrived there- I found myself flying above the sea. It was dark. In the 'middle' of the sea, were some people I knew, so I extended my hands and started flying towards them. However, my accuracy was not good. I could not navigate /control my direction very well- I was getting carried away from my target towards the far end of the 'scene'. Then, I found myself in the midst of a crazy, chaotic, huge storm! There was water everywhere carrying me with a huge force. I was terrified. There was nothing I could do- but surrender. Which I did. Immediately, I found myself in a parking, facing a white car / 'vehicle'. This vehicle changed/was changing form, from one moment to the next. Then I woke up scared and shocked (not from the final scene).
I had some insights while re-writing these dreams:
e.g., 'getting carried away' has been ongoing for months now since I find myself not doing as much work as I would want, and avoiding it by engaging in habitual-autoamtic patterns... Very synchronistic, that among the work I am avoiding is my dissertation- which includes a section on Experiential Avoidance... Mirror in my face! :)
Exploring further, when I talked with my therapist and spiritual coach months ago, he identified a blind spot of mine. That I was afraid to put the effort because I was scared of putting the effort, and still not being enough. And this was disguised as a lack of motivation. But I could also feel the fear. And I still do.
I don't know how to interpret this recurring pattern of the sea-storm-shaking and the vehicles...
And now I find myself frightened, my heart is beating fast.... now that I remembered the dreams, especially the third one which was the most frightening of them all.
Any reflections on how to interpret these dreams and work with them would be really appreciated.
Thanks a lot.