The big lessons for me this years seems to be about self-responsibility.
Facilitator Marije was a big help in making me see necessity of this after a short and virtual (because of the walrus) but extremely impactful relationship blew up rather suddenly (though the underpinnings was clear to see in retrospect).
A qoute from Bernard Guenther sums it up very well:
"Understanding and applying the universal law of cause/effect and the law of agreement implies taking full self-responsibility and not getting stuck in victim/blame consciousness, which is the real trap that can keep us trapped in the matrix over lifetimes and lifetimes. Getting stuck in this state leaves us disempowered, unable to complete and learn our lessons. We then constantly externalize our journey by blaming people, circumstances, aliens, or entities; or we look for saviors outside ourselves (gurus, leaders, politicians, deities, Jesus, aliens, etc.), getting trapped in the Matrix savior program. However, it’s essential to understand that not falling into the victim/blame trap includes not blaming yourself either. The mind will have some trouble with that because it is always mentally analyzing and caught in either/or – black/white dualistic thinking; always wants to blame others or itself. There is a state of being (your true self) that rises above and beyond that space of blame and can see the Truth: that there is no good/bad experience and no one to blame either, as there are only lessons."
Combined with a qoute by Satprem the stomach is already ready to burst from too many red pills:
"Firstly,[These occult adverse forces] they always catch us with our defenses down—yet were we firm and one-pointed, they could not shake us for a second. In addition, if we look into ourselves instead of whining and blaming the devil or the world’s wickedness, we find that each of these attacks has exposed one of our many virtuous pretenses.........if the perturbing forces yank the coats a bit violently, it is not at random or with wanton malice, but to open our eyes and compel us to a perfection we might otherwise resist, because as soon as we have grasped hold of a grain of truth or a wisp of ideal, we have the unfortunate tendency to lock it up in an hermetic and impregnable construction, and to refuse to budge from there.”
It turns out for me however that this realization alone isn't enough. The tendency to blame the other party, to cling to the story instead of taking full responsibility for ones feelings and how one feels about ones own behaviour is quite a tenacious one. Conscious of the pattern this is the time for to recognize the huge opportunity, though also avoid self-blame for not getting the lesson immediately. Also there are ways to amplify the underlying pain if one has troube getting into contact with it, for me fasting on fruit certainly seems to do the trick. Still I guess I've barely touched the surface yet.
Experiencing the stunning pain that lies beneath the projections and blamegame is something that has to be experienced I guess, and I suspect maybe most in the Openhand community has. It makes it understandable that most people aren't able to go there, or even willing to try to understand the theory behind this.
“No one can reach heaven who has not passed through hell.” – Sri Aurobindo
Illusions are breaking down quickly. When I had my pre-awakening soon to be five years ago I thought that the rest would be fairly smooth sailing, new cage love and light. Little did I know..
I'm ultimately grateful for the lessons I'm given, though the egoic self wouldn't have minded a break sometimes, maybe a bit lesser standards for just a period of time. The period we're in now though confirms that the shadow side isn't joking around, and it's time to step up. And I haven't really yet.
All out of blue pills...