Sharing my experiences

I see, I can't post anymore in the last personal thread I started as it says, this is outdated. So I'm starting a new one. A new beginning maybe! Wink Emoji

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Its been a roller coaster ride last few days at goa. I was pulled to a cafe called This is it with my friend to play music and express our selves. The first show was amazing , with so much energy moving and ample support. We were deciding on renting a place outside but the guy at the cafe offered us free stay in exchange for jamming sessions. It seemed like a great offer. But it also came with some sense of obligation, responsibility and expectation which I knew before hand as I have experienced it many times before. It also killed the creative flow in music and ideas that I was with. Suddenly it became about how to satisfy the external with what I have. I can also see other ego motivation behind it. Synchronistically I was down with sore throat so that I can't sing, hand pain so that I can't play guitar and it also led to fever. Some realizations started flowing yesterday when I was contemplating on these experiences. How had I created the fever ? Its lack of trust in the universe. A belief that universe can't provide so that I have to rely on people and situations around me. And so much effecting to fulfill that. I'm glad that I can see it for what it is. Expressing the distortions so that soul can flow more freely unhindered by the ego. So I decided to move out today and stay independently and decision was backed up lot of curiosity and excitement. Let's see what the universe does this time! When I made the decision I was pulled to a beach called morjim which is a very spacious beach. It spoke about how the decision is opening up more space inside for the creativity to flow. Some years before I would have put up with whatever I created imagining that there would be lessons in it. But now I realize I have to make the change that I have to make and no one's gonna make it for me. 

Despite the injury and trouble I feel quite happy.  Situations like this helps build more trust in the divine and get my mind out of the control game. This sign came to me - your best teacher is your last mistake. 

I wonder how did I manifest the situation though. Just before the hit, I was contemplating on the various challenges on my mind and even wondering how fortunate I'm not to have something like an accident. And that's when it happened! Maybe I drew it with my own thoughts. I have heard that stuff like this happen when you are walking a misaligned path and you need a wake up call. Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure it has got to do with waking myself up from being too much in the intellect. I feel it's a much ingrained conditioning from childhood possibly school days. And maybe it needs something like this to crack it open. Today morning I thought I must be the most conflicted person in the whole world. For about half an hour I drove back and forth because I couldn't make up my mind on a decision. If somebody would have observed me for that time they would have thought I was crazy! Then I finally gave up and realised,  the burden of making a mistake is less compared to the burden this conflicted mind and pressure to make a decision is placing upon me. So much investment in reality and outcome pulling on different threads at the same time. Then I went ahead with the most obvious mistake! I do understand intellectually at least that its through mistakes that you learn most and when in conflict, the key is not to try to resolve it. But the intellect can't just simply give in! And it keeps beating itself up. The conflict I'm facing especially when travelling is to so with money and spending it . It's the poverty consciousness poking its head from time to time. Finding the balance between being free to spend money but at the same time using it wisely without wasting it. 

If something like this had happened years before then I would have made myself into a victim and started complaining. It's quite a blessing that I can now see the positive side of it as well.

I welcome any reflection. I welcome any mistake!

I made this video about something that happened today -an unfortunate incident but also a blessing. After taking a week rest, I continued on my journey today morning but the flow wanted me to rest more. I will share more about the inquiry later. It's really difficult to type with my left hand . Angel Halo

 

In reply to by Vimal V

That's a great little story Vimal - a blessing indeed. When we can take the positive from situations, the learning experience, then we'll always gain. "Your best teacher is your last mistake" indeed!

And I loved the song!

I can just imagine you as a travelling singer/uplifter, on your bike with guitar on your back - what a life!

Thanks so much for sharing this little flame of light with us all.

Much love

Open HeartPraying Emoji

My journey has brought to a place where I started a conscious spiritual journey. I feel blessed to be here , having the whole farm/house for myself. It's really quiet and I have all the time in the world for meditation and contemplation. I'm putting my travel plans to a halt as I feel I like to be here for some time , eat some healthy raw food , meditate and take occasional walks along the river. And when I'm fully satisfied , I can continue the journey or not! As of now there is minimal intention/desire coming from the mind. Since I have been inquiring into my motivations from the beginning, the journey has also been one of letting go ‐ material things, desires, intentions , relationship and baggages. Interestingly it's been well reflected by letting go of some physical things as well as I felt I was carrying a lot of unnecessary weight. And it felt relaxing! One great thing about riding the bike and contemplating is that I get to see a lot of signs on the road. It feels like my thoughts and inquiries are answered by billboards. I wonder how I can see it at the perfect timing. One of those I can remember is this - I saw a sign , EGLO which obviously meant ego to me, then perfect curves followed by again GEO centre. This is something I have been working on as well - letting go of a linear, comparative way of looking at the world. Instead asking what do I really need and what's important to me. And feeling more into my uniqueness. 

 

I'm on motorcyle trip form Kerala to goa and possible beyond goa to the North, visit Himalayas. I'm already meeting interesting people on the way playing my music and sharing love. It's been quite challenging already since situations are really asking me to let go of things, beliefs, needs and desires that don't serve. Yesterday I was at kochi riding my bike through the city without really knowing what to do and it was getting to me big time. I had promised myself that I wouldn't rent rooms and only will be camping and staying over. At the beach watching the sunset I finally let it go dissolving constrictions and being ok with any choices that presented. It was interesting to see how a path opened up soon. So it's an active lesson in trust for the mind. I still don't know why I'm doing it, so I'm constantly looking at my motivations. Yesterday I was speaking to myself how the only motivation is to learn from experiences then suddenly my attention was drawn towards this bill board which clearly reflected my ego motivations as well. But I guess I have to go there to come back! I'm also seeing a lot of signs which especially happens when I'm inquiring and looking around. I believe to truly taste the moment and enjoy the simple things one has to let go of any mind led intentions. At Varkala, which is a beautiful beach in Kerala, two of my friends and I was planning to camp by the beach side and this guy offered us a place in his resort which was quite kind of him. Im quite tempted to buy certain things that I think will serve me on the journey but I don't really know if it's coming from the soul or ego. Do you trust that if it's something you really need then, you will be guided or do you go for it and learn from it later? I would share some of my upcoming experiences and inquiry here 

Always with you! 

Always with you!

A helping hand fff

​​​​offering a helping hand! 

In reply to by Vimal V

It looks like you're having a great journey Vimal - going with the flow - brilliant!

You said...

Im quite tempted to buy certain things that I think will serve me on the journey but I don't really know if it's coming from the soul or ego.

I find this a really useful inquiry. When I'm packing for a trip, I'm always in the "zone". So I pay complete attention, allowing higher dimensional knowing and the heartfelt pull to guide me to what's right. It can only come with working at it though. Plenty of times I've missed things, and then realised as I looked back that I missed an important synhronicity!

Best wishes

Open Praying Emoji

Hello and Greetings dear open, how are you, am always delighted to see your updates and thoughts. It's uplifting to see your good work and sharing. Have written to Aspasia before about my recent experience in an email, if you can go through, am better otherwise but could you suggest any self help/ meditation on how to feel more clear. Is there a way to speak to you personally

Kind Regards

misha

 

Hello,

It's been a while I have shared any personal experiences here. I need some suggestions as well. I have been continuing intermittent fasting for several months now. Almost always skipping dinner. I havnt fully overcomed the feeling of hunger at night and have been loosing body weight alarmingly yet again. Its also because I engage in a lot of physical activity like farming, hiking, sports, yoga etc. Ana the calorific intake is not just sufficient to maintain my body weight. I don't suppose spiritual evolution has to come at a cost of bodily health. So I think intermittent fasting is not everyone and certainly not for every situation. I guess it would work if you take lot of high calorific food. So I guess I will be switching back to a 'normal' diet and see what changes I might encounter. Having plentyful time when you skip meals is worth mentioning. 

These lockdown times have been generally good for me. I almost feel guilty thinking and saying it aloud as I know millions are suffering. Especially in a country like India where draconian laws are being passed without the slightest consideration of the population, majority of them being poor financially. Recently we have seen, thousands of people walking thousands of km to their hometown just because they can't afford food or water where they are. We refer to them as migrant workers. There is a feeling of powerlessness I feel, as nothing can be done in a physical sense to put brains into those who are in power. I have seen, one of my friend who has been volunteering to put food on their plate getting really frustrated as she feels nothing is ever enough. I guess for most people it's easy to just trust what the government and media is saying as challenging these may open up a Pandora's box. And there is no reference to put what is happening into some sort of sense or context. 

These times have been productive to me in a sense that I have a lot of time to engage in activities that I'm passionate about. And I'm really excited about the prospect of improving through them. I often wonder how much of this self improvement is founded on ego. It doesn't have to be. The feeling of excitement and enthusiasm is definetly a soulful feeling. When I really move from my usual ways and challenge reality to a degree, I can see it synchronistically supported by some external reflection and a sense of connection to something beyond. But it's not enough to say that I'm following the flow. How do you follow the flow and synchronicties all the time? 

I have been meditating regularly - Chakra attunement, Openhandbow, connecting with nature or just sitting and yawning by myself. And it's not something that I do anymore, it's a necessity just like drinking water or sleep. I can sense that the need to improve must be coming from an inherent sense of lack eventhough it's backed up by positive feeling. But I guess I have to just step into it and find it out myself. There are no mistakes in a spiritual path right!? 

 

In reply to by Vimal V

Hi Vimal - it sounds like things are progressing pretty well for you - no worries.

With regards the intermittant fasting, yes, if you're doing lots of bodywork like that, you'll have to intake more callories. You can eat all you like in a six hour window and still be intermittant fasting.

Remember the flow of synchronicity comes from beingness - the more you uncover and express beingness, the more the synchronicities accelerate. So keep focussing on uncovering and expressing new facets of beingness and all will be well.

Open Praying Emoji

In reply to by Open

 

Perfectionism

I think if I set up everything nicely, make it proper, finish it, arrange everything in its nice place, so that I don't have to think about again, then I could kick my shoes off and rest somewhere and I will be relieved and be happy. Its the attachment towards outcome forgetting that it's about the process than the outcome. I got a reflection where I was so happy that I completed something and was so relieved to have it almost perfectly only to know that I will have to do it again. But the great thing is that I can see through it. What's being invited to learn. I understand that I don't have to hurry myself to death, overanalyze and think too much that If I had ticked every box while I'm in the process. Maybe I will have to do it again and all of it will be a mistake even and that's ok.

Paternal projection

Another thing I'm seeing clearly is the paternal projection towards an authority, those in power, someone I could rely on, tell my answers, show me the way. Someone from which I want something in return - appreciation, acknowledgement, permission to exist, approval and acceptance. And the more I see it, more it provides the opportunity to step out of it and detach myself from it. I take back my power and soveigrenity and the freedom is incredible. This article provided a very good insight into it. How we project this paternal and maternal projection towards the government and how we can reclaim our personal soveigrenity. Thanks Megha for sharing it in Fb.

https://kellybroganmd.com/why-we-stay-asleep-when-covid-19-is-trying-to…