Hey Open - I loved that video...especially the sense of just how much not meeting the mark is part of the experience. Also, it's key to notice that past experiences shape the feelings as I step into now, but there is still a choice at this point - whether it will continue to determine who I am or not.

I contemplated the awkwardness and embarrassment - it's really hard to grasp it...but what comes up is "daring to challenge the belief about myself". It's as if I live in a caste system and dare to challenge being an untouchable...and the onlookers sneering and spitting at me "look at her daring to think she is worthy of more - let's watch her fall on her face and laugh and laugh!"

It's not really about anyone else - though the external characters reflect my own self-doubt and inner tormentor. Stepping toward a new experience of myself exposes the belief in a fragility at the core of me...something that feels as though (even if falsely so), it can be broken and destroyed.

Thank you so much for the reflections, support and opportunity to look deeper. <3