I think Im having some kind of dark night of the soul! Im starting to really realise and come to terms with the fact the earth and biosphere are in terminal decline, and Im struggling to come to terms with this, and its scary and Ive been feeling quite depressed. If I didn't have a little daughter I think I would find it much easier. It's when I see her that I feel so sad for her that she might not grow old and her life may be very hard as she gets older. I cling onto trying to fix things through work... But then I look at the big picture and I can see that it may be futile, but I still want to try and I enjoy trying. I'm realising just how unconscious most people are to the destruction they are causing, and this makes me realise the futility even more! And then I see that the spiritual journey has to be the only way. I know on a logical level that death is nothing to worry about. But I still get scared. I will continue to practice. I know a lot of the previous paragraph is my head and brain talking and not my soul and heart. I am meditating daily. I feel a lot of movement inside my conciousness-i feel really alive when I meditate. I can align with the flow. I soon lose it in daily life, but I always go back to my cushion. I guess this depression and fear is part of the grieving process for the old way of being-life before we had to worry about the world ending. I hope I can find the strength inside to be brave to walk this journey. It helps to write about it.