Hi Open,

Thank you for your response. It helps to know that, from a higher conscious perspective, an experience like this is 'just' another growth mechanism.

I would also like to mention that I've only just realized I posted my message on 21-7 at 7:43 in the evening, which makes me think I was one minute too late, but maybe that's a sign that I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself, but just a little bit. 7 has been prominent lately so all I can do is shake my head and wonder why I am still doubting that I'm on the right path. Well I know why: everything I'm doing completely contradicts common sense. My mind is kicking and screaming but it is no longer pulling the strings as I can somehow still muster the courage to say: you've been in control of this show long enough and it hasn't lead to fulfillment. We're doing this now no matter where it leads.

I feel that, if I have to translate my current experiences into the Openhand philosophy I would have to say that I'm riding the magician ray pretty strongly right now: I've been stumbling through the dark for two months now and haven't the slightest idea where it's heading. Common sense tells me I'm a complete madman but my inner spark tells me none of it matters if common sense only leads to an unhappy life. I had all these expectations of things getting completely magical from the get go but of course that didn't happen; though in many ways I feel that if I look back a year from now I will say: oh wait, all those small things I didn't notice at the time lead to... wherever I will be at that time.

Thanks again and I'm pretty sure we've not seen the last of each other :)