Hi Open,

Interesting timing… I started a detox yesterday (the mucoid plaque detox) and I really struggled to get through the day without food. I’ve completed this detox before and got through it fine but this time I’m so incredibly hungry and it’s pulling on all the threads of discomfort and identification, and possibly karma too.

Yesterday I got to early evening but felt I could no longer cope without my go-to junk food of crisps. I was craving them and all I could think about was them. It overtook me. So I went out into the garden for a reset. It worked for an hour or so until the hunger pangs came back and I was again ‘taken over’ by the apparent need to eat this rubbish food. So I gave in, went to the shop, bought some crisps and ate them. I observed myself throughout this entire process and realised there was an internal convolution but it felt too big, and maybe too scary to go there. Whatever it was, I just couldn’t go there yesterday.

The whole reason I decided to do a detox now was because the body had been crying out for it. Any food, drink, vitamin supplement, etc being consumed was causing strong nausea, to the point where I didn’t want to eat or drink anything, and if I did, there was no enjoyment due to the nausea. Predictably, the crisps caused the same internal reaction and so of course there was no enjoyment in them.

I see that this occasional habit may have become an addiction, or at least just the means by which I stifle my emotions and distract from the internal.

So I have restarted the detox today. I am already starving but rather than avoid what’s coming up as I did yesterday, I’ll work with what’s coming up. Wish me luck! 🤣

Nikki ✨