This one hit right home for me today. Though not in a pleasant way… More like a slap in the face, urging me to “wake the f up”. 

I’ve been in a committed relationship for six years now. It was clearly the flow that brought us together - and our relationship has often been deeply spiritual. I have no doubt that my current partner is my soulmate. 

However, soulmates are not for ‘life’ but for the ‘flow’. Last year, we both experienced synchronicities and intuitions that encouraged us to separate. It was clear to us both that our time together had come to an end. 

To me personally, this was challenging but not too much so. I noticed that I’d suppressed a lot of energy during the last few years of our relationship - and as a result, I felt quite liberated in the immediate aftermath of our breakup. However, a few months later, the pain hit me hard. It was as if I’d entered into the breakup with a shield around my heart and a veil around my mind. I’d separated from my partner, but I hadn’t really allowed myself to go through it emotionally and spiritually. The pain flooded me. I also felt guilty, as if I’d failed and hurt everyone around me. I could feel my former partner’s pain, our families’ pain, our child’s pain… And my own. All at once. 

I then experienced some synchronicities around us reuniting. This was really confusing. Though it wasn’t clear, and I experienced a profound split. Nevertheless, to ease the pain, I urged us to come back together. All the while, I suppressed an intuition I’d had right before these feelings and synchronicities surfaced around our reunion. Right before - while still feeling clearly that our separation was the right decision - I’d walked past a sign that said “a change for the better”. I was travelling and had just arrived at my destination. At the same time, I felt a voice inside of me warning me: “You will feel to get back together with your former partner but you must resist this - you separating truly is a change for the better”. It felt strange as I couldn’t even imagine wanting to get back together at that point. But a few days later, that all drastically changed… And I conveniently denied this intuition.

Fast forward, we’ve now been back together for more than six months. We even manifested our previous home back, which seemed to confirm that our reunion was rightful. But that nagging voice persists! Is this the right thing? It’s so complicated… We are young and have a young child together. Just from a financial perspective, a separation would hit us hard. I feel like a little toddler with a temper tantrum… I don’t want to move from my home once again, I don’t want to be a single parent, I don’t want to struggle financially. And I certainly don’t want to put our child through all of this with us… I don’t want to take the risk! It all feels way too much… Why can’t we just work things through? Find a solution? On the other side, if it’s not right for us to stay together, I don’t want that either… 

I know my ego is speaking. But I want to feel more sure that this is in fact the right thing. Separating immediately would feel as a base jump without a security vest. My strongest intuition at the moment is “stay in the unknown”. Maybe that’s why the feelings are conflicting. Because I didn’t do that previously… We both separated and got back together too quickly. But I ‘hate’ staying in the unknown… I want to know!! Yes, I know, it’s my ego again… 

I experienced a synchronicity a few days ago, which may be somewhat related. I was running and my mind was wandering. I was thinking about some specific synchronicities that this guy had shared with me, when he’d imagined something random that happened exactly the way he’d imagined them immediately after. Then, suddenly, I felt as if someone behind me was trying to reach me. I felt this voice saying: “Excuse me, you lost your keys!”. It was all energetically, though, I couldn’t actually hear anything. The feeling was strong, however, urging me to check my pocket, so I did. My keys were safe. Right after this, my attention was drawn to a woman right in front of me. The energetic voice came back: “That woman is going to drop her keys now and you need to give them to her”. Sure enough, the woman dropped her keys! She didn’t notice and continued walking. I did as the voice said. I fetched her keys from the ground and called out to her: “Excuse me, you lost your keys!”. The woman was very grateful. The keys had a yellow tag, which caught my attention. To me, it symbolised an interplay between my lower and higher self. My lower self losing the keys and my higher self returning them back. But what do the keys represent? 

Many thanks 🙏