Which Gateway are you in?

Here is a brief summary of the five key expansions of consciousness - the 5GATEWAYS - that occur on the Journey of Enlightenment and Ascension...

Which Gateway are you in?

The 5GATEWAYS movie offers a deeper insight...click here
The 5GATEWAYS book offers many tools, tips and advice for recognising what Gateway you are in, and how to progress through them...5GATEWAYS Book

    Gateway 1:"Awakening": you directly sense the interconnectedness of all life and know that what effects one effects all. The intensity of experience through the five senses will have made a dramatic leap, as though the 'volume' was suddenly increased. You're connecting with the magic of the soul and beginning to experience life through it. You start to feel an at-one-ment with all life - a compassion and love for other sentient beings.

    Gateway 2:"Realignment": as you increasingly tune into the interconnectedness and joy of life, your soul begins to infuse within you, until a profound change happens: the soul takes over from the ego and assumes supreme leadership in your life. There's a sense of always yearning to come from the higher choices, the higher truth, in every moment, in every thing that you do.

    Gateway 3:"Transfiguration": the path of the soul leads you on a journey of inner purification, which can last many years. Progressively it takes you to a dramatic shift in perception from identification with the personality to being the Seer expressed as the soul. This is preceded by a full kundalini activation, where lower and higher self are united as one - it's experienced as a powerful and liberational energy rising up the spine into the pineal gland (the Third Eye). You now live life as 'the One', the Seer of all things.

    Gateway 4:"Enlightenment": this is the passage through your past life karma, where aspects of the soul have identified with traumatic circumstances in previous incarnations - how you passed on for example. As your soul unfolds into the causal body, you activate your karma in waves. It impacts your daily life and relationships - you live elements of your past lives through the current moment. You're being invited to reintegrate those lost fragments of soul, bathe in your karma and release it. It ultimately leads to your Enlightenment: being the Seer, expressing freely as the soul through life without attachment.

    Gateway 5:"Resurrection" - we don't just have one bodily vehicle of expression, but seven, each of which is connected through a main chakra. As the full energy of the soul is unleashed and flowing freely through you, your seven bodily vehicles of expression are finally cleansed, reactivated and re-energised. You unfold into multi-dimensional living. You are now 'ascended', living in the Higher Paradigm, here and now.

What is your experience? Do share below...



In reply to by Trinity

Thanks Trinity. I have a question regarding which gateway. I've read about the signs and identified but I don't know how to clarify it. It does seem somewhat unnecessary to know, I could just continue as always, but I believe the reason I found the doc/web was to gain some necessary information for the following journey. I can also see the present and future journey as being very harmonious. But maybe I'm not where I think I am - thats comes from now looking at it written on paper. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and I would be happy to answer any questions. I know you guys are busy so whenever you can. I'd be happy to hear from anyone who has something to share. Stephen.

Hi Stephen,

Maybe you came across the documentary and website as a resource to accompany you on your future journey, to dip into as feels right and participate in where appropriate.

As I become more familiar with the work it revealed things on deeper and deeper levels. As my consciousness changed, so I became more able to find new insights and resonances. I never strived to get through a gateway, I just diligently applied the tools. Patience and application were key.

If you sit with this new resource and turn to it as frequently as feels right, eventually you will find the clarity to know where you are - if it matters.

Warm wishes,

Hi Stephen, great to hear from you, welcome to Openhandweb.

I'm glad the Five Gateways routemap has resonated - many have said that. Yes indeed, there is a strong tendency to overestimate where one might be (and I'm not saying you have! Just picking up on the point you made). Previously, these Gateways have taken lifetimes to transcend. It is only now, due to the catalytic nature of our environment, that things are being speeded up.

In the past, to have transcended Gateway 4, would have been the realm of the 'Spiritual Masters' only, such as the Buddha or Jesus. But I am now witnessing 'ordinary people' (of course there is no ordinary!) also making this profound journey, which is wonderful and magical to behold.

But we need to be completely honest with ourselves too. Otherwise we lead ourselves astray into some illusionary state. This pathway is utterly shattering, utterly life changing. It strips apart every thread of identity that might exist. It is not an easy one to be under-estimated. It will test you to the very limit of your being and then, take you deeper still.

The Gateways are multi-dimensional, their transcendance being the progressive release of identification with each dimension. This is how Ascension works. So first you might confront the very nature of existence, which would be to work through physical identification with the first dimension. Then it might be emotional attachment within the second dimension and so on.

The complication is that the dimensions all overlap in the same space and time. So sometimes we might end up processing the karma of the fourth dimension for example, even though we're only in Gateway 2. I observe a few people in the Openhand community genuinely going through Gateway 4 now. It is utterly earth shattering for them: years of continual confrontation with karmic past life regressions that can be deeply traumatic. Except by the time they've reached this Gateway, they've learned how to efficiently process the negative energy that arises. When you consider the trauma of the human journey over the eons, it is no wonder there's such a bottling up of this karmic energy, hence the need for this rigorous and stringent processing.

There are very few people on the planet right now who've actually done this. Many of the so called 'masters' out there teaching spiritual evolution are mostly in a state of denial about shadow identities - there's a disassociation with their baggage - the 'non-duality' movement is a prime example of this: a tendency to 'drop the hot coals' but before the heat is truly felt and integrated.

So unless you've experienced several years of intense karmic processing, it's unlikely you've passed through Gateway 4.

Often what happens, is that there's a pre-Awakening phase (which people confuse with awakening) where the soul is touched for the first time. It can be so magical, sometimes people think they've become suddenly enlightened. It's then often followed by a seeking phase of the spiritual aspirant, trying to regain that previously elevated state. They may have had a taste of profound bliss in meditation for example. But then the state quickly disappears. This 'spiritual aspirancy' phase is often confused with Walking the Path (Gateway 2). When awakening finally happens, it's then confused with The Transfiguration (Gateway 3).

To be truly walking the spiritual path, means that no choice is made without direct interaction with the soul - a constant conscious choice, even if that choice was to lead to ones death. So strong is the sense of pull of the soul.
When one is enlightened (Gateway 4), there is no longer identification with daily life - there's full engagement, but no identification. Choices are no longer made within the mind, they happen as a flow aligned with the universe, moment by moment.

So yes, the journey can be a touch confusing. That's the power of the Five Gateways routemap though, that's what it's for. It can show someone the influences they're experiencing and how to catalyse their next step.

Open *OK*

Plenty there to reflect on. What struck me most was that you said at gateway four you are enlightened and I don't consider myself to be. Finding the doc. and website has been stimulating and I feel my questions have been answered. I wouldn't be bothered if I was actually at gateway one or two and that could be the case but I'm quiet happy where I am and I'm looking forward to what's just around the corner.

Thank you so much for writing and to everyone else.

I have artwork I would would like to share. It was one way I used to reflect and express. I'll try to upload them in another post if that's ok. It would be nice to share.

Thanks again.


You said, 'So unless you've experienced several years of intense karmic processing, it's unlikely you've passed through Gateway 4'. I experienced pre-awakeningS about 15 years ago and a couple of years later it stuck and life transformed - impossible to go back. I lived the joy of that for about 3 or 4 years while also noticing the shadow that had been created. Eventually a shadow engulfed my life again and that was a complicated one to get out of. It took about another three years to start the getting out - the question that instigated getting out of it was 'live or not live?' I became more present again. I was in the desert, lost, alone, present and happy to be there. I was there for about 2 or 3 years. Then came kundalini awakening, intensely transforming with lots of shadows - after five years of living what was to come after that I confronted myself to do what I was afraid to do. I studied, changed home, started a small business, reconnected with family and intergrated in to society - it all felt quiet ordinary. You can see how I'm identifying with the gateways and I would understand the karmic confrontation as the following five years after the kundalini awakening - but I'm not enlightened. :-)

Hi Stephen,

Yes I totally understand - the Five Gateways routemap is kind of like a framework really. Each person's journey is totally unique. Yet within that, it's possible to use the framework to intuit where we're at, what's going on and why. So at first sight, it can be easy to confuse.

There are tell tale signs however. When someone is transfigured, they are essentially in an enlightened state most of the time. It feels like 'there is no one here'. The point of identity that was the ego, has exploded so that beingness is experienced as everywhere. There is pure presence.

In this state, the concept of choice has changed too. There is no longer choice because there is no one choosing. There's simply alignment and attunement of the soul to what's going on.

At the Gateway 3 stage, this enlightened state is complicated however by the presence of shadow identities. These are subtle karmic filters which tend to explode every now and then (sometimes in waves) as regressions kick off. Each regression is ultimately dissolved leading continually back to the enlightened state until one day "bingo", all shadows have gone, there's a knowing of that and a knowing of Enlightenment. It is unequivocal.

Just briefly, I can say I have transitioned Gateway 1 and am well seated in Gateway 2. I am beginning to experience a "quickening" of Gateway 3 and must admit I am a bit apprehensive. Not to the point of dread. Just a subtle sense of anxiety, a precursor to change, mixed with excitement.

In reply to by Snowfire

The more I contemplated where I am in the process the more comfortable I became with a sense of transition. I was expecting a definite demarcation of "arrival" into Gateway 3. But it seems to have just gently transformed and I am amazed at how much of Gateway 3 I have already naturally processed and accepted. I feel tuned in and aware. I am sorting through and facing my inner panorama of experiences. Accelerated healing and understanding have opened.

My question is does Kundalini Activation ALWAYS express as a super-charged, explosive load? Or might it also present as a natural, flowing experience? I ask this because I am also truly immersed in "confronting past-life karma" and "dissolving shadow-identities" and have been for a very long time. These I understand to be a Gateway 4 attribute, but are strongly influencing my experience right now.

I understand the concept that one can experience essences of multiple gateways at once and each journey is unique. I accept that my experience is what it is and as it should be for me. But I find myself wasting energy waiting for the so-called Kundalini Activation. It's not an obsession with me, just a nagging little awareness. An annoying twinge of "lack." A slight doubt that I "can't" or "shouldn't" be where I am without "properly" following the "rules." I know that sounds silly in the whole scheme of things, but that's my conditioning and I am trying to work through it. This idea of needing "permission" is totally against my natural instinct to just go with it. A remnant of attachment to be softened?

I seem to just be rambling on, caught in a pattern of circular reasoning and will exit this post ungracefully. Maybe someone out there can pick up on where my dissonance lies and help bring clarity. Maybe it will just work itself out. Anyway, here goes with the dreaded Save Button of commitment...

Hi Snowfire,

My observation of kundalini is that when it activates, is that it tends to be powerful, often earth shattering. But once it activates, we integrate the experience and normalise in it. Which means we're now acting with kundalini flowing through us and creativity happens in alignment with the universe. So once you've had some big shifts, it normalises.

And yes, we can be experiencing past life karma (associated with the 4th Density/4th Gateway) even though we're still moving through Gateway 3 - it's to do with the fact that we're multi-dimensional beings.

So it would seem kundalini is already quite active for you. And if karma is coming up and you're working through it, then I'd say you're doing pretty much the right thing. It's just a case of progressively working through it, confronting what's presenting itself.

Best wishes


Thank you, for your down-to-earth response. On a basic level I "knew" the answer, but it does help to hear a re-affirming perspective from beyond that mishmash that goes on in my own head sometimes. And the process goes on...


Having read / skimmed this vast thread, I was coming to the conclusion I was maybe still at gateway 1 (having previously thought I was in 2) but then I went to the back door to get some fresh air and my attention was drawn to 2 birds at the top of a tree, and a further 2 flew overhead. Nice. (not that 2&2 make 4 here, just a confirmation of 2!).
Good to get feedback from nature as I have been making changes to the family's food supply (driving them all crazy with the 'organic' thing) and trying to avoid GM in their meat etc, and generally trying to follow the guidance for raising our vibration. My progression is barely perceptible on a day-to-day basis so I am comforted by my 2 little birds that I am on the right path.
Also, it felt good to get this synchronious message at a time when I have been much more focused on preparing for my upcoming birthing of a new soul rather than on focused attention to my own soul.
WIth love and blessings to all,

To reconnect I had to disconnect.

As I was lead onward it became apparent what this concept of "ego" was trying to make me understand.
I am not me?
I was shown the birth of self awareness.
The introduction of a catalyst enabling access to a higher spacial dimension. An aspect of the personality (identify & protect) unleashed into this mysterious space.
Identify and protect it did.
First it claimed was the short lived self awareness. The sense of self was purloined and our slavery pursued.
It was not long before it found the flow and the rest is human history.

Maintaining awareness of this understanding another presence soon became apparent. An inner child belief re: ghosts was next on the agenda and as a result no judgement was passed on this unknown but tangible presence of an other. Characteristics and influence was observed and the possibility of a partnership was evident. Its fearless, stylish, heroic, legendary, unstoppable nature was undeniable.

Silence fell as the possibility and existence of a soul was experienced.

From the invisible unknown within an outpouring bleed against my chest. Impeded from proceeding it dammed at my core welling within with great force it pushed and pushed, flooding my being.
Resisting temptation to break connection with the moment the dam burst. Permeating my senses the sensation evaporated into clear lightness.

That night the moon shone magnificently bright at the centre of a massive perfect cirlce from which whispy clouds covered the sky.

In solitude I starred in awe skyward, but I was not alone. The moment was shared with my new found partner and without words we both knew what it meant...

Sounds awesome Zac - thrilled for you.
I was especially moved and resonated with the description in the 'third person' - or rather lack of person. There is no one here!


Thankyou for allowing a space to share the experience.
Its beyond words.
With a sense of enjoyment does my mind surrender in disbelief with every attempt to comprehend.
It's too late.
The experience was real. Pre-eminate.

Perhaps in another time we may use a different form of language which transfers a greater sense of the experience. Perhaps on another level we already have.
All I am certain of is anything is possible.

Then remember: you will be brought right to the cliff edge and be invited to jump, not knowing if you can fly, nor if there will be a safe space to land.
There is no longer safe!
That becomes flying.


Thank you Open... : ) I look forward to the oppertunity that awaits this new path! If I know myself it will present some immediate challenges as I have always had a problem with giving up control, but I feel so up to the challenge at the moment I feel invincible... lol : )

There is no loger safe!
Safe becomes flying.

Love this!!!! * arrow pointing up*

this reminds me of my favorite poem by Guillaume Apollinaire. 'Come to the edge' he said, they said'we are afraid'. 'Come to the edge' he said. They came,he pushed them and they flew.xx

A new chapter opens for me and as described it was marked with a ceremony. As the internal shifted so has the external.
Its is my calling at this time and I needed to create the space to hear it.
I now reconnect with an ancient celtic aspect of my soul I never knew existed and enter the realms of white magic.
As I now commit to this aspect as I intuit I must I thank openhand for adding to my toolkit as well as sharpening the tools I had already established.
I wish you continued success with your endeavours.

By the laws of three by three I send these words with love to thee.
No matter what challenges this life may bring the celtic goddess within me still sings.
Peace and love

Hey Zac, so great to hear from you, thanks for the sharing and thanks for the blessing *OK*

When one becomes selfless, by stepping truly onto the path, that's when the real magic kicks in. Those in the higher realms begin to trust you and so then begin to support what you do.

Watch now for your own higher 'ashram'. They are drawing close.

Best wishes


Hi all,
Although there are a lot of aspects of gateway 3 happening in my life right now, I believe I am transitioning Gateway 2. I had my awakening at university no doubt. And my life has changed at such a rapid pace since then, I seem to be having 'initiation'-like experiences all the time. I have also made many mini-comittments to follow my soul in previous years, but now, after the recent 5-gateways workshop, I am fully-committed without doubt.

I've noticed that many people experience the leaving of a relationship in Gateway 2. I don't believe this is my path, although I'd like to share in order to gain full clarity on this. I am currently in a relationship and have a daughter plus a son on the way. My partner is an atheist, with a complete belief that there is no god or divine purpose. This means that she really doesn't understand my spiritual side. However, she has said that she is completely fine with it even if she doesn't understand it, she would always want me to be me. I certainly feel that this is the truth at the moment. I also feel that both with her and her family and with my daughter, there are many learning opportunities and karma to process. So, although we are really miles apart in our spiritual views, there is harmony in most other aspects of our lives. I still feel a pull to stay together.
What other examples of ceremonies are there, especially for gateway 2? Sometimes I feel like my whole life is an initiation.

Much love, Richard

Hello all...

I have watched the video 4 times completely and gateway 1 and 2 6 times or so...lol...read the Divinicus book and now reading the 5 gateways book and I stopped reading the 5 gateways book after gateway 2 'the realignment'. I was no longer able to really resonate in parts of gateway 2, gateway 1, I resonate well, some of gateway 2 but near the end of gateway 2 no longer, I do understand it intellectually but my experiences can only resonate with gateway 1 and 2, there is so much great information and tools to help catalyze in gateway 1 and 2 I am re-reading these again! :)

I am not sure, either pre- awakening or gateway 1 but I feel pre-awakening more :)

Maybe we can work it out together.

A pre-awakening is where someone gets a flash connection to soul through some pretty activational experience. They've felt the soul, but now there's an efforting by the seeker to get more of it. This efforting actually closes the being down to the soul. But nevertheless, there's a constant seeking of that experience again.

Many people are in this pre-awakened state who would consider themselves awake and actually following the spiritual path. But actually what's really going on, is that they're just chasing spiritual experience learning intellectually (reading loads of books and spiritual practice like yoga for example). So they think this is walking the path. But often it is not.

Walking the path (Gateway 2) is defined by near total surrender of the ego to the soul. It's like you feel you can't make another choice, take another step, unless you can feel the soul leading. Almost if that could mean your death. Such is the strength of it.

To be awakened (Gateway 1), is to be pretty much constantly feeling the surrounding field and one's interconnection with it. There will be times when this sense is lost. Sometimes for hours, perhaps even for a day or two. But definitely not longer than that. And all the while, if the sense of connection is lost, there is a knowing in the background of experience that something is missing and something has to be done to rectify it.

So maybe that helps in understanding?


Thank-you Open :) you have helped me understand, i do feel as you stated that i am some what chasing the spiritual experience, i did like very much that flash connection touch of the soul and i certainly did want more....after the few flash connections to the soul i have been very eager to read and integrate spiritual practice and i have read many many different articles from many spiritual people but i resonated with you very strongly, anyone that knows me realizes this :) i do feel that now i am not so much chasing but simply doing what has started to passion me, your groups and your guidance has captured me and i feel changes, some good and some challenging...the forum is great to read others experiences....for now i am just living the moment and OpenHands guidance has been a blessing.


Re-reading gateway 1 "transitioning" and you explain very well as you stated above :) I guess I needed to hear again!?...lol...this has made me realize I have been chasing and need to let go, I can continue to read, watch videos, integrate and practice the tools you provide as this has become a passion and an interest but I believe I need to stop looking for an outcome and just be. :)

Hmmmm...since Kiama, I feel to be moving into G2. There is a new awareness permeating through every step. Straight away upon returning I began to be given opportunities to surrender into the flow...no matter that it may appear 'insane' from the outside. And with each opportunity, the bar seems to be raised higher and higher...OK...you can surrender to that, try this then, smarty pants! Just today the opportunity appeared to soften into something which in logical terms appears impossible. And yet the soul knows it is the way...so feeling and recognising the fear which arises, allowing it to move through and evaporate, letting the energy transform...

Sounds like a beautiful process Nimue, thank-you for sharing and expressing it into words :)

In reply to by Open

Good morning from America! I have been following your site for many months and decided today was the day I needed to join the forum. I am in a deep state of processing karma (though I do not believe I have fully emerged from Gateways 2 & 3 yet) and have been for the last several years. The only way I can describe it is to compare it to natural childbirth. It’s like these waves of agonizing contractions that rise up and engulf me in grief. Then I have a few hours or maybe a day of rest where I can go inside and hear my heart’s message, “Trust this process. Let it unfold as it needs to.” But then the next contraction begins and I’m lost in the pain again. It seems eternal. Anyone looking in at me would think I’ve gone insane, for the inner reaction I am having is completely out of proportion to what is going on externally. I am reaching out today to the openhand community in hopes of finding a light at the end of the tunnel. It has now been a full two years of this “birthing” process and I’m exhausted…mentally, physically and emotionally. There are times I feel like this might be my permanent state of existence because I still don’t see an end in sight. Yet, in my soul, I KNOW that at the end of this, there will be a new life. So, my question is, besides going into the pain and experiencing it fully, is there anything else I can do to process this? Do they make spiritual C-sections? At least I still have my sense of humor ☺ (I also have to mention, as I’m writing this, I just heard the plaintive howling of a coyote in the woods…it’s morning here in the suburbs and I have never heard that in my life.) Thank you for all you are doing in this world and beyond :)

Hi Harmony - I feel for you - yes these karmic experiences can be traumatic when we get into them. But you are supported and helped - work to realise that.

Is there an end to it? Most definitely YES!!!

All these experiences relativistic experiences. They are not who you are. They will ultimately process and integrate. It feels to me as for some reason, this karma activated a little soon in your process. A touch before you were ready, hence the intensity. Have you had some kind of traumatic experience to bring it on?

But no worries, yes there are things you can do besides just feeling into it...

1. Access the feeling, and feel into it (no problems there)
2. Work to become as-one with it, so that you don't need it to go away
3. At the height of the feeling, as you think you can't take anymore, work to become 'the One' in it. It feels like opening a doorway through the feeling into presence. Take a look at the end of the Gateway 4 film for this one... http://www.openhandweb.org/contents/five_gateways/5gateways_documentary…

there will be a word or some kind of tool that can take you into this state of presence. As I explained in the film, for me it was just a word - openness. Open!
4. Finally, you must do something to process out the dense energy. Your soul gave you a clue on this one (I do believe). Go out into the woods and howl like a coyote! It'll raise the ray 1 warrior. Let your strength of will come up and through you.

***Please Note*** as you've intuited, best not to share these kinds of experiences with the mainstream. They simply don't understand.

What you're experiencing is definitely karma, around the birthing process. And I'd say it relates to the distorted birthing of homo sapiens. have you read Divinicus? It would help understand things... Divinicus

And also, have you felt to come on the Openhand Courses? They would help enormously.

Anyway, see how you get on.

Open <3

In reply to by Open

Open, thank you so much. And yes, there has been a traumatic experience. I live in Newtown, Connecticut where on December 14, 2012 a gunman entered one of our elementary schools and killed 26 people...most of them first graders. On every level imaginable, this experience has not only effected me as a human and parent, but many people in the community. So, while my spiritual journey has been underway for quite some time, this experience accelerated every aspect...a shattering of the ego, an emergence of my voice, a need for protection from enormous amounts of negative energy and the beginning of this karmic relationship/clearing. I will say, that even as terrible as that event was, I have seen an equal and more brilliant light radiate from the ashes of that day. There is simply a great deal to process. I do know that I was put here in the place at this time for that very reason.

Your notes are more helpful than you could ever imagine. Thank you. And yes, I will read Divinicus and look into the courses. Wish I was in Florida for your latest!

Wow, yes. Such an event is likely to activate karma. My heart is with you.

Just keep working with it. You'll get through it.

Wishing you well



I am not quite certain which gateway I am in, but would guess the pre-awakening or gateway 1. I do still catch myself striving and searching for spirituality instead of being. That is especially true when around many people or at work. It quickly brings me out of beingness and into my mind and racing thoughts. At times my racing thoughts feel so out of control I am on the verge of tears out of frustration. When alone I am better able to allow beingness to unfold and realize how everything is another distortion or attachment to soften into. I am very back and forth-between being and unraveling, and then going back into attachment and worry. I do love observing everything I'm attracting into my life and feeling where my distortions are that have attracted the experiences. When I began doing so, it literally felt like a layer had been peeled away. After which I lost many labels I had owned and identified myself with. It felt as though I had no idea who I was anymore. In some strange way I loved feeling that. :)

Hi Kari,

You share your story so simply and honestly. It is truly profound work you are embarked on, keep going!

With love,


Such vivid descriptions of things that can be so hard to find words for. When I read what you wrote here:

"Anyone looking in at me would think I’ve gone insane, for the inner reaction I am having is completely out of proportion to what is going on externally."

It is so typically how karma takes effect.

Sending love and solidarity to you on your journey.

Hi Everyone,

I had been reading Open's writing over at wake-upworld.com, that led me over here where I watched the 5 gateways film. It made me happy. The softening into tightness resonated and has opened up in my mind the truth and way through some of my current challenges. Many things shared in the film were relatable, I think my experience at this time seems similar to what was described as gateways 3 and 4. How I got here though seems different then the experiences shared in the film. I would be grateful for any comments or insight.
I've always felt very different, and I have been diagnosed with high functioning autism or what used to be called aspergers in my case. My earliest memories of cognition involved observing the way things were done in the world and being very shocked at how different it was from the truth I could see. I also did not feel speaking in language was ever an adequate way of communicating for me.... it couldn't grasp the fullness of my experience. It was very disappointing when I came to understand others were not experiencing the magnitude of the world in the way I was. My speech as a child alternated from bursts of inspired wisdom or humour, like a little philosopher, to a purely cognitive logical masculine way of communicating. As a result, it was easier for me to play with boys, . The only way I could form words was through a feeling of inspiration or an effortful process of logic. As I got older it seemed I became more detached and disassociated from emotional experience, I lived as the observer, never associated with my own position, not really ever feeling my own needs in a situation. I was always taken advantage of as I could always understand where others were coming from. My upbringing involved emotional abuse from my parents which required me to further disassociate from my feeling based experience.
The one joy that was reliable in my youth was music and was funnelled into music school where I did not experience joy when practicing the required materials, I would go to the practice room and all I wanted to do was play and create... eventually it became obvious I wouldn't make it through music school, .... I had to figure out something else to study. . This was a heartbreaking experience for me, I wanted to die at 19 -- it seemed there would be no way to be me and survive in this world, .... the logical, detached aspect of me told my soul that this world was not for it, that the part of me that could function, even if oddly, in the world had to take over. I became more like what would typically described of someone with aspergers.... filling my life with information, logic, and studying. I married a very quiet man, I couldn't connect to others through speaking and it was possible to live in a contained protected way with him. I could never fit in in the matrix, but with him as a mediator I could pretend well enough.
As a child I believe i lived in a state similar to that described by those in the film as the awakening. However because disassociating from feeling was necessary to survive my upbringing and later survive in the matrix, this state of awareness only became pronounce when I was in nature. But I knew it was always right there for me beneath my thoughts. I remember one experience as an adult watching the ocean where I felt myself dissolve, it was so beautiful all I could do was cry.... and later I cried having to go back into the matrix way of life. There was no way at this time that I could integrate this larger truth into my way of living as a human... I had a young child and was studying to be a lawyer.
I guess the other thing is I have always had claircognizance, - I always knew stuff I should have, could often predict where situations would lead and how they would unfold and was too aware of what people feel or want from me -- this was so overwhelming and I think also pushed me to dissociate further from my feeling experience.

Then in 2011, my soul said enough. I became strongly aware of my feelings in a way I never had before... I could not hide from them anymore. I realized I was not going to live the life I was meant to with my husband. I had a hard time making the decision despite feeling miserable for awhile, however I kept exploring, even making new friends.... I was shocked and happy that people were accepting me even when I let my inner freak show on the outside. then I had two profound experiences on the same day. I was in the ocean again and I felt a beam of light warming and entering the top of my head, I felt so happy, it was then that even though my thoughts were not reconciled I knew that I could never turn my back on this joy and go back to my old way of life. then an hour later in conversation with someone - an intellectual conversation about language philosophy the most profound truth came to me as I felt myself vibrating. I could see intellectually for the first time - the matrix. Its like my left brain finally was remembering the truth my right always always felt. One word came to me that encompassed the entire horrible truth of modern existence ... Matrix. After the vibrations subsided I looked around disorientated almost seasick. Its been validating watching the spiritual community's growing use of that word that came to me that day. After that I was committed to self, both my feelings and thoughts were in alignment with what I needed to do and I left my husband.

However it hasn't been smooth sailing at all... I have been plunged into the darkest parts of my self. Eventually I came to learn of a shaman healer who works with people to confront their inner wounded parts ... this has been enormously helpful -like peeling layers off an onion.... I will feel lighter then theres another layer of subconscious learning and insecurities to confront. My shaman is 70 years old and has helped many people, he says I am very unique to work with, that there is a part of me, which he calls my feminine energy that lives totally in the spirit world. In the past two years there have also been new painful experiences brought to me that seemed to catalyze me towards integration. I've ended up getting and leaving a very prestigious job as a lawyer doing work that my former "aspie" self was very adept at... intellectually challenging and which paid very well. My self demanded I leave even though I had no source of income - so I did. I have learned to live happily without very much money - however I can't fully let go of the fear that even basic economic survival itself will eventually become an issue . I have been for the past four years throwing myself into my creativity which has also been a profound teacher. When I TRY to make music its much "harder", softening myself - just playing like a child, allows it to flow out of me with great ease.
Right now I often alternate between feeling joy and excitement, so happy to be alive in this time , to feeling crushed by the matrix, frustrated with my challenges with connecting from the heart with language, economically vulnerable, concerned about my ability to support my daughter and myself. I can't go back to the old -- but I'm not yet totally at ease with walking the path never knowing whats next.
Thanks in part to the 5 gateways film, I now know a way forward through my challenges with verbal communication. I am going to soften into the truth that I really don't have much words to share with others in many interactions, and thats okay even though I feel that others are often uncomfortable with silence and that I myself want to be able to connect with others from the heart - but trying to find words to connect is wrong for me. Authenticity demands that I interact with others in a loving open silence unless inspiration prompts me to speak words, and that the way forward for me is to soften into the tightness I feel around that truth of myself. I also know that watching the film will help me in those moments of exhaustion frustration and utter aloneness to know that there is an experience of alignment with ones truth that lies beyond where I am now that doesn't involve being rubbed roughshod by the outer world.Thank You.

Hello Little Sage Sarah,

I feel so touched by your sharing. There is such a transparency and authenticity to the feeling of your words. I can relate with aspects of what you share with regard to communication as well as both the depth of and detachment from feeling. What an inspiring journey you have been on. I am sure you will find this community incredibly supportive on the path. Welcome! With love, Jen

Hi Little Sage,

Welcome to Openhand, it's wonderful that you feel to be so open. You are amongst friends, and it may surprise you, that in this family, you are definitely not at all unusual or strange. You have a classic star soul configuration and energy - a soul that has existed for a good deal of time in other constellations and vibrational paradigms. Such souls often struggle to fit in and be accepted here.

Blending is important, but only in order to be functional in a 3D sense. What's most important and most exciting, is when you can fully unleash your gifts into the world in a managed way. By that I mean learning how to contain the energy without suppressing it or denying it; finding ways to express confidently, as and when it feels given and right to do so. This is no small challenge, but one which you 'signed up for' (otherwise, you simply wouldn't be here).

I don't believe you're quite where you think you are though - not between Gateways 3 and 4. Much more likely is between Gateways 2 and 3. I sense that when you left your marriage, this marked the commitment to the soul - the realignment to walking the path of the soul and only that. It sounds strongly like Gateway 2.

But I don't feel lower and higher self are fully integrated yet. You said...

    "Right now I often alternate between feeling joy and excitement, so happy to be alive in this time , to feeling crushed by the matrix, frustrated with my challenges with connecting from the heart with language, economically vulnerable, concerned about my ability to support my daughter and myself. I can't go back to the old -- but I'm not yet totally at ease with walking the path never knowing whats next."

This sounds much more like someone getting used to walking the path and confronting inner darkness leading to Transfiguration. In fact we describe this 'roller coaster of emotions' in a similar way in the film.

Perhaps the confusion is happening because of your star soul nature - the fact that you can more easily access higher dimensional experiences than human souls can, and from an early age. But that still doesn't mean you're transfigured - lower and higher self fully integrated.

The challenge now would be, to integrate this higher spiritual awareness into all aspects of your daily life in a grounded way; to work through the density and challenges, finding expressions that work. Over time, this will lead to integration (of lower and higher self) and then transfiguration.

I trust this helps

Open *give_rose*

Thank You Jenny and Open for the warm welcome!

Open, thank you for the guidance. Confidence is an issue for me, 31 years spent trying to fit in never let much chance to explore my abilities. Although creativity is flowing easier and easier each day, the struggles to trust with others is still a big theme. Expressing myself to others does feel as if it is an important part of my path. I agree transfiguration isn't complete, - the subconscious wounded child fears still sometimes feel like mine and although I always feel strongly now what is not right, what IS right is more elusive. I haven't come to discover how to live in a way that is nurturing for me. Its too much trial and error, but never losing the commitment or falling asleep to the truth. its been ongoing for the past 2.5 years however a good deal of that time unravelling the big mistakes of career put in motion prior to committing to authentic self and learning (still) how to function in 3d in an authentic way and without the protection and care of my ex husband, with only the past 8 months spent focused more spiritually.
I read once about "wanderers" which I think is similar to what you called star souls. It resonated deeply, especially the part about always feeling there was a mission. When I made the decision when I was 19 to live logically focused I felt as if I was telling myself " I know you feel you are supposed to be a different way but I don't know how to do it".
Have you met others like this who have ascended through the higher gateways? Did they too have karma despite being from away?

Thank you


How do we function in the 3D? I'd say always confront the tightness of difficult behaviours and choices. Always take the opportunity to unravel through the conditioning then let an emerging aspect of beingness guide the show.

Yes I've met many ascending. There's relatively few yet though through the higher gateways. And yes, all have karma who come here. That's the nature of the place. And there's different types of karma - different levels of it. Not just 4th dimensional. We kept it simple in the film - only so much you can convey. It's meant as a unifying starting point.

Keep well


There was someone in my life who I was holding on to with tightness.... I was empathically connected to this person who I was romantically involved with, and although this person was a drain to me, I thought that I was meant to keep trying to make it a healthy friendship. I realize now, that even within our platonic friendship I was desperate for this person to validate and love me. The connection that remained between us also confused me and made me feel like I was supposed to keep giving to that relationship.
On the last full moon during a spiritual circle I attend people were talking about letting go, and that relationship came to mind, and in that instance I noticed my resistance and tightness was about letting go and stopping the giving. I was scared to let go of it. That night I walked alone staring at the full moon and committed to stop feeding the relationship. When I was home I deleted his phone number and cut our social media ties. The week that followed felt like a gradual decompression and yesterday I had a very spiritual experience when I was walking outside... I felt freer and lighter than ever before in my life. I was free of not just the weight of other peoples expectations of me, but also free of what I expected and thought of myself. I was filled with a warm sense of well being, ... that no matter what happens in my life, or the result of the endeavours I am currently engaged in, I will still be me and will be OK, simply by virtue of being me. Since I let go, I no longer am struggling to be authentic in my interactions with other people... the fear is gone - though I am not sure before I would have called it fear - it is effortless for me now.

Although I still have some mental patterning, for example before doing tasks or making calls etc that normally would have been met with a huge amount of anxiety and resistance I will still have a thought like ... "oh no this is going to suck" but rather than feel that or experience fear or feed the thought, I just do the task or make the call with ease.

Not sure if this would be considered a gateway shift, but I definitely FEEL that there has been a definite permanent shift in my energy. Like more of myself is available to me and within my interactions with others now. SO excited for life, and feeling so amazingly OK with whatever is awaiting me in my future.

Thank You! The teachings here definitely facilitated the thinking that led me to identify a huge source of tightness in my life for what it was. The relationship as I see it now, was a result of my old way of trying to connect with people- through codependency, control, and people pleasing behaviour -- and letting go of my desire for this person to give me love has opened up my heart to receiving love from the people in my life and those I encounter everyday.

I think I'm still at Gateway 1 (just got here) but I'm struggling with some of the new challenges, fear (sometimes overwhelming) and some physical symptoms that I don't know how to respond to (pain in the base of my skull, lower back, etc). Also having a hard time keeping things balanced. An help or suggestions are appreciated!

Hi 76,

Do you have a daily meditational practice? My sense is that the best way to begin, is to find some solidity within your experience - that which is apart from the pain initially. Don't intentionally supress the pain, but find a centred sense of peace.

That could be a breathing meditation, deep consciousness bodywork like yoga for example, or spending plenty of time in nature. You could also try some of the guided meditations in our audio section....


Afterwards, you could then connect with one of our facilitators, who will gladly help you work forwards through any pain and density...


With best wishes


Excellent suggestions, thank you. I've started gardening recently which I really enjoy, and have been practicing breathing and meditation exercises. I often stop the latter after only brief periods because it gets a little intense for me and I get a little scared sometimes, but hopefully more practice will help. I've also noticed that when I hike or sit quietly in the woods/park, animals come much closer to me than I'm accustomed to. This occasionally frightens me too. Is this something anyone else has experienced?

Certainly animals get ever closer, as your vibration harmonises and calms.

Why would you be afraid of that? How does the fear make you feel?
If you can't answer immediately, then try sitting in a quiet place and regress yourself into the experience: seeing the images and feeling into the feelings that come up. It's an important part of liberation from it.


Thank you for your insight. In the most recent scenario it was a young female deer that came extremely close and showed a lot of interest in me in the woods by my home, and I think I pushed her away with fear (although I also didn't want her to come too close to the road, where cars could hurt her). The previous day it was a really beautiful snake that came very close (crossing my path prior to starting my hike with a friend), although it certainly wasn't trying to bother me and showed minimal interest in me. Both frightened me immensely, as I thought they would harm me. I will try to take your kind suggestions to better understand this and work through it.


Finally read a few more of the earlier exchanges in this article and what a beautiful exchange a few years back you and Lesley had Open.

I read your "Moved to the core" post and you managed to find a way to express this whole Journey / Process with Graceful, Beautiful resonating words, I read pretty much all your articles and all are really good but this "Moved to the core" sharing is UNIQUE and SPECIAL.

May I recommend that at some point where you see fit you add the direct link to it in the 'Whats new' section, as u do with some of your posts. it is only a recommendation as I now know where to find it and have access to reading it now a few more times :)

Shortly, in the not too distant future, Openhand will be launching the "Great 5D Shift Project". It's a monumental task, with the majority of work going on behind the scenes, through the ether. In essence, it's about connecting together, through the different densities, a multidimensional bridge, that connects up the various benevolent groups working to support the Great Shift that is now gathering apace.

    The shift is not haphazard. Humanity is not alone in his endeavour. There is a vast array of support and guidance through the ether out there, in higher densities, many of whom are now coming together at this time in support.

In the 3D, there are countless practices and spiritual approaches out there that are already beginning to touch this bridge, whether intentionally or not. In other words, there are plenty of practices that have the capacity to bring you to it. The various forms of meditation for example, yoga, tai chi, various dance, movement and bodywork; sacred sexuality, and in fact a whole plethora of different consciousness expanding philosophies and practices that have sprung up through the years.

    This is what I find so exciting about the project: there's no one way to it, there's no one "right way" that everyone must and should follow. In fact for each soul there will be a unique way, YOUR WAY. A good facilitator or mirror may point you to the inner Gateways that you must pass through, but only YOU can pass through then, and only in YOUR way.

5GATEWAYS will be, and is, a fundamental part of this facilitation. Let's be clear - it is not a religion, it is not some kind of dogma set out that you "must follow". It is not some rigid belief system. It is a routemap, which points out milestones, at different "altitudes", that people tend to experience as they ascend the spiritual mountain.

    You may well have your own treasured practice, your own way - brilliant, that's to be 100% encouraged. But let your practice be constantly evolving, constantly growing, where you're constantly inquiring and testing the approach - otherwise it may only take you to a plateau.

What shifts are you making? How is your consciousness expanding? What are you experiencing as a result? And then, how do you notice your journey is beginning to relate to the 5GATEWAYS routemap? Do you notice some of the shifts spoken of happening in your life? The idea of the routemap, is to cause people to truly question where they are at within their evolution and to spur people on.

    People from all around the planet, in all walks of life, say how accurately it reflects the kinds of experiences they're having.

So the 5GATEWAYS routemap will play a key role in this Great 5D Shift Project. Right now, great work is happening by spiritual people across the planet. But it is very dissipated with little cohesion bringing resources and groups of people together - connecting them with a common sense of purpose and destiny.

It feels like a monumental task to work to try to make this happen. But it feels greatly worthwhile. I know it will mean many more people can make this Great 5D Shift unfolding all around us.

So where are you in the Gateways do you feel? What kinds of experiences are you having? By sharing, maybe I can offer a few reflections on how you might move forwards.

Open :-)