Right now it's that I need to be softer. But really I don't feel triggered so much by this judgement anymore, which is recently coming from men who are uncomfortable with a woman reclaiming sovereignty or are uncomfortable seeing and expressing their own power. Yet I'm aware that after lifetimes of giving it all away and having no boundaries, I can swing the other way pretty hard. And I used to judge myself for that, because it hurts others. But then I realise that the degree to which I overly surrender is the degree to which they take control or play into the distorted dynamic as well. And the degree to which I then swing the other way is to balance it out, which they attracted to themselves too. Every time this happens I thoroughly review and feel into whatever uncomfortable message I want to deliver, and it just doesn't want to be watered down even though I can see it has the potential to be taken personally and cause pain. What I'm working to do when expressing is to come from my feelings and not project and make things right or wrong. As you reflect I can see their fear and their course of action as an energy now and not as them. I can feel how on a soul level they actually wanted to hear the message.

A part of me yearns for this intensity to not be necessary anymore at some point. But I see how that doesn't happen from watering a message down when it wants to be expressed strongly. It needs to happen right at the beginning of the dynamic. To not go unconscious and lose myself to such a degree that it needs to be brought into balance with equal force.

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