"Maybe it's right to do a matrixy job and be in the thick of the matrix"

This statement jumped out at me. I am one of those people . I work in a hospital - can't get more matrixy than that 😀,and I am reading this just as I am processing losing a patient . I took him off the ventilator yesterday. I am allowing the deep grief I feel to move through me as also deep anxiety ( am I a good enough doctor,did I do everything right ?). I tried to connect with the departing soul and with his family . Cried heaps with them as well. I was also noticing how I am able to be much better present with my emotions as they are arising in a very 'tight' situation.

It's also interesting that this enquiry was posted- the parents of the baby were quite poor and that was a major concern .

I often feel as though maybe I musnt be on the right path ,being as matrixy as I am. And yet ,working with these babies makes my heart sing . Happens to pay me well too and give me enough time and money resources for deep enquiry ( that's a rare combination ) .

I agree with working through tightness around money on a deeper level than any conceptual change . In my case my family of origin has some pretty screwed up poverty consciousness ,some of which I have inherited so that's an ongoing challenge for me to be present with it even in the middle of being wealthy.

For me ,living my life accessing deep reflection as I live it ,is breaking many of my concepts about what it means to have a spiritual life . As I seek out pockets of light within myself ,as I explore.my shadow,even my very dense living circumstances seem to flow and 'talk' to me much more. Just felt to write this as I am obviously very mainstream and yet amable to connect with a lot written here . It is a paradox that I am still feeling into .

Thank you for your honest reflections Tracy

Megha