Thank you!!I get it. It seems you had to say it a couple of times to really hear you :p
im not afraid to get into the fear of pain. it is the fear of not being in control if 'something' comes in. but it is time to get into it. i have come close some times and i back off instead of surrendering because im afraid.
Thanks for referring me to that article. i will read it again.

Vaso