There are two modes with me:

1. The field is moving through me and around me - I am not moving anything. Then I express in some way, often dance. I allow it to move. Sometimes ray 1 activates on its on as a feeling and expression. Sometimes I need to 'push' a little for things to move or notice something in my own consciousness that makes things stuck, so there is a reflection for me, then too ray 1 comes through - focus and some 'pushing'. Like when surrender is not enough to allow the stuff to move through, or move into the experience or move consciousness in, then there IS a kind of stuck and 'viscous' moment which if I stay there enough, sometimes I stop breathing there or exhale more and more, while the knot in me and the field unravels further, then inhale happens. Or I just keep my awareness there and breath through it. Or feel to move in a certain way. This includes when something from the field as if passes through and out. It is like being a tunnel.

2. When the movement inside me moves the field. I have this energy moving from down or up through me and then radiates though me and I feel it is some kind of influx, harmonising, transcending, balancing or uplifting. Then I usually just make sure not to interfere, but let it flow freely.

But really, gradually I get the feeling that there is no difference. Eventually I feel it all inside anyway. But in both cases I don't do anything on purpose there. Recently, also after your reflections I've been thinking that maybe I AM too passive and waiting for things to happen on their own. Somehow I decided that when things just happen then it is probably best and that then I won't risk bringing in stuff that will just mess it, like my own distortions, judgment or control.

Maybe I could catalyse stuff better if I were less mistrusting in myself and being less careful to not make mistakes. Definitely there is some exploration to go through.

Thank you, Open