This is exactly what i want to know. Wrapped up in present/past karma and distractions, but making the choice more often to be with soul instead of the habitual distractions but i can't seem to get deep enough b/c of work which takes so much out of me so meditation turns to sleep real quick. i work on presence as much as possible but i feel like i'm missing something? cut off somehow? like in a daze or fog. working on the surrender and trust too but not sure if i'm allowing soul to come through enough from always being caught up in myself and the incessant monkey-mind. trying not to be hard on myself as you've said it takes time, and maybe this is a good lesson in patience i need, but worried i'm squashing her instead of setting her free...