this is something i've circling the edge of lately, the fear of death and letting go and im beginning to understand what you mean by this, that the torus flows and goes from full to flat and back again. it has to move or there wouldn't be life, there wouldn't be creation. and like the pause at the end of a breath or heartbeat, or at the end of life, the torus flattens too. because the seed is already planted, all it takes is the "spark of life" to animate it, and the torus fires up again. this is the fabric of the universe and we might as well get used to it. easier said than done though!