I feel for you LJ :-)

What's needed is not to see your meditation as somehow different from daily life. Rather to practice looking for beauty as you go through your life, then connecting with how you feel about it within. So building external internal connections which build the sense of soul.

It's not to avoid the darkness; but instead to give you a different centre - a mast in the storm so to speak.

So work on this, and when you have it, then you can better process the density.

I will email you privately about someone I would recommend as a facilitator to work with.

Best wishes

Open