FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. You touched on something when you said "But you know what? I think that whatever it is inside my head knows. And it's just as scared of me as I am of it. It's scared and fighting with all its might to get me to stop paying attention to it." your fear seems to me to be just a reflection of something else's fear. You are and always will be you through it all. You just have to recognize yourself. Keep softening and witnessing. Eddie