You are The One. You are that serene and gracious God Source through which all is moving, the canvas upon which all is manifesting. And to be able to remain as that, to stay as that, means to be able to progressively relinquish attachment to whatever has been painted on the surface of you. We all have this God Source within us. For countless lifetimes, we, as souls, get so intrigued, so understandably invested, in the crystallised external reality that we forget this - we lose the inviolable essence of who we truly are. We get wrapped up in the external game of charades, the smoke and mirrors of life. Everything is energy, moving as the Torus. Energy is consciousness, which is awareness. It's caused by what Einstein immortalised as relativity. The problem religion has in its postulations and endless prognoses of God, is that when you give an identity and substance to God, you're always left with the question, "where did this God come from?" They would say, "he always existed". There's rightness in this, and, a crucial flaw.

Firstly, on providing a quality for this God, 'he', for example, or 'she' or 'love' or anything, you've also qualified, in that moment, what God is not. Because you can only define a quality in terms of its opposite. You can't define love, for example, without defining what love is not. So now, stripped to the bare bones, you've got relativity. And this relativity must have emerged from somewhere. Hence, we can propose the God Source as the Absolute, the infinite potential, the singularity, the Pure Presence from where the relativity sprang - the "Big Outbreath" as the Brahamans call it or the Big bang as the quantum physicists do.

It can be a tortuous journey getting there though. Don't expect it to be easy. Surrendering inwards will take you a long way. But there'll be boundaries and densities to push through as well. It takes great courage to surrender to these fathomless depths.

Some people, have been brave enough to go there. It's often when you've become so disillusioned with the systemic ridiculousness of society. In so many ways, it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't add up - the degree of injustice, inequity, brutality. Surely there must be more to life? Religion may provide some distant hope for a while, but it still leaves too many questions unanswered. It still papers over the all-too-visible cracks. You must venture through these tears in the veils of life. You must accept the hopelessness, because the place you must really go to, is that which precedes hope; that which precedes all things. And the only place to do that, is inside yourself.

Valiant souls have gone there - just the odd one or two in the beginning - the mavericks and the misfits of society who'd lost all investment in it, all identification with it, all hope that it could ever fix things. And so they let go, probably in some cave somewhere, just like the one Chris and I were dwelling in right now. They stripped reality down to its bare bones, and went within, as far as it could take them, and then beyond. Beyond all of 'this' and 'that'. Beyond all relativity. Beyond all Identity. Beyond all hope.

And the prize they discovered was stupendous. Beyond value and even beyond the mind's ability to grasp it. It's the completion of everything. All journeys fulfilled. All questions answered. All the 'lights' in the Universe light up. You've arrived in the God Source and you know it. And to be able to experience it, you must have become the Everything, by passing through the no thing. Because how can you possibly be the Absolute, if the relativity hasn't yet dissolved within you? In that moment, you've become the Absolute. You've become God. And you know it.

People may touch this state, until the mind is triggered by it, with questions and conundrums. How, for example, can I know this presence and still be in a physical body? How can I function in life, and still retain this immaculate state? The answer rests in being able to hold a dynamic equilibrium in your mind, and in your being. Not one singular truth, but a paradox - two apparently contradictory truths simultaneously: Presence, Zero, Absolute, which suddenly cascades outwards into the outflow of relativity - 'this' and 'that'. Thoughts trigger in this dynamic interplay, emotions, feelings, expressions. None of them are you, they are flowing from you. But then a creationist might point to the body and ask, "where did that possibly come from?" You must drop below the surface of relativity, and dare to look under the hood. Because even the physical body, with its three trillion cells, is nothing but a complex interplay of this cascading flow of relativity. It's an illusion. A real one.

Crucifixion awaits us all in some guise or other. It will call you when the soul is ready to venture beyond the precipice of the illusion, and into the God Source within. And the only thing to fear about it, is resisting it. Because this only intensifies the suffering. Surrender into it, be prepared to pass through that intense convergence, and when you do, you'll explode the myth of everything in life that previously held you. You're reborn, gloriously free. You, yourself, now as the God that you are. This is what Chris was now on the precipice of.

"Are you ready then, Chris? Ready to go back there?"

"I know you mean the crucifixion. But to be completely honest - I'm afraid. Afraid, not of the experience itself. But what it might, or might not, tell me about me."

"I understand. But you've done so much travelling, so much journeying, with so much commitment, why not step through the door marked 'fear'? The only thing it can do, is strip away illusion."

"I know you're right. And it's the only place to go."

I too had plenty of trepidation. I already knew the biblical past was a part of my story too. "Let's go there together," I suggested. "Let's just breathe, relax, expand, and let it flow. See what comes." And so we did.