If it helps Amber, for me, there came a point where I was caused to let go of the trigger word. In a situation not disimilar to what you describe. As we move into Enlightenment, there is the steady removal of identity. The removal of any sense of individuated self that wants or directs to anything - even enlightenment. We're coming into the place of pure presence. So a process or a tool, like these trigger words, will only get us to the edge, to the very lip of the void. But then something internal has to switch so that we dive into the void. For me the word "openness" - which was my trigger - itself dissolved into the simple inner knowing of what that meant. It was just presence. The bubble had burst into that point. Upon which I just seemed to settle into it. Perhaps the key is, as you say, in total acceptance of where you're now at. I know that you're making great progress and are on course to process your karma in this lifetime. I can feel that. I feel the inner resolve and sense of commitment. It's just a question of time. I also admire your sense of self honesty. It doesn't feel like you repress what's happening. This in itself is the most important step along the road to enlightenment and the catalyst which can accelerate things profoundly. Much love and support Open *OK*