Hi Natalia,

Sounds like you're working through with realisations - wonderful :-)

It might help to reflect on the purpose of life itself. In so doing, you might see that's it's not about doing this or that, about making the right or the wrong choice. It's all about becoming an ever finer expression of the One.

But two important things with this...
- You can NEVER make a wrong choice. As long that is, if you learn from the choices you make - if you evolve and grow
- You will never be perfect (in terms of aligned expression). Because you can always become more aligned. So give up trying. Accept yourself as you are, right now, in this moment. Then simply ask the question: "how can I grow?"

The whole universe will reflect back to you how you can grow - that's what it does!

Finally, the universe happened. And without you choosing it, it has happened through you. It is constantly happening through you and it is NOT your fault!

You'll have all kinds of inner distortion, which will affect the flow, sometimes creating disharmony, but it's not your fault. All you can do then, is feel into the distortions and work through them. To become more aligned. In which case, life feels ever more sublime.

If you find yourself over-actively judging yourself, mostly it's just the mind playing games. Don't try to stop it, but come more into your heart and let go there - feel into the heart. Let yourself be more centred in the body than the mind. It should help.

Namaste

Open