Greetings fractal - nice to connect with you

What stands out from your sharing is something I often witness in the Openhand work. It's where there's been a focus on raising the kundalini energy without necessarily realising it can only truly happen through deep integration into external behaviourisms - because the two are interrelated. What also stood out was this... "I never had counseling, simply didn't want to open pandoras box. I never did well with talk therapy. " I do understand that when you have had some deep emotional trauma, especially around issues like sexual abuse", then what can happen is there's a shutting down inside - probably around the sacral chakra and impacting into relationships.

I'd say what definitely needs to happen is regression therapy. To work with a facilitator who can regress you back to the experiences and feel into the blocked subconsciousness to get it moving and open it up. But actually yes, talking about the situation as a means of getting into the energy. I sense that also what will help is gentle sensual stimulation of the skin. I think it would be a good idea to explore this with a facilitator who can regress you.

Much love

Open