Didn't I post here already? I can't remember. Day 3 of the 'mucoid plaque' removal and I'm in the confusion phase. There was the panic phase, 'OMG, I've got to eat something'. Thankfully that was over fairly quickly. I found that I only had to steer my consciousness slightly to one side. Slightly too easy? Maybe I'm suspicious. Am I avoiding anything? Possibly. But what's come out early is that food is a distraction. The shopping, preparation, consuming...when you're not doing any of that as well as planning your next meal, then there's all this spaciousness and void beckoning to be filled. I suppose that's the whole purpose, to infuse soul into all those pockets of density concerned with food. There's a link to my 3D existence, of course. What will I become if I transcend this state? What will it look like, feel like...but, hey, I'm using comparisons to my physical 5 senses. As I mooted these musings earlier, I realised that I'm moving my consciousness out of the present and into the realm of expectation, judgement etc. I'm forming all sorts of wonderful fantasies about where this is all leading. And the point is how my consciousness is moving around this experience. There is nowhere specifically for me to go, just the changing quality of my awareness. 

So, the experience shifted from, 'hey, I'm hungry, where's the grub?' to 'OMG, I'm gonna die'! ( Ridiculously dramatic I know but there you go.), to 'ah well, get on with it'.  I'm still checking my profile in the mirror to see if I'm skinny enough to touch the floor when I do the bow, but I might have to let that one go. 

As I sit typing this, I'm feeling a type of unreality, like the room looks different. The medical profession, of course, would be honking about my blood sugar and blood pressure etc. Funny how the official line is the mucoid plaque is something the alternative lot make up. There is suggestion that the plaque is comprised of the purgents taken. When I try to imagine the collective psyllium and bentonite I've taken summating into one of those giant black, rubbery things I see pictures of, I can't. Funny how there's this black and white divide between mainstream medicine and alternative health. But it's just another bit of duality, yin and yang etc.  

In the words of P'taah, 'all is valid'.

If I make it to Friday, I'll post again...........