My drive to be authentic is, I think, overwhelming my ability to truly be authentic. Last year I felt a shift from the lower chakras (the lower triangle) into the higher chakras. The shift was subtle but obvious once I recognised what had happened. Since then I feel an obvious force pulling back into the lower densities and into old conditioning. I've done this before, but intellectually only. And at that time chose the Matrix.

Now, having understood that there really is only one choice, I appreciate the reality of manifesting in my life. Just yesterday whilst sat, meditatively contemplating the rising sun, I heard a bird stir in a tree nearby. The sudden thought that occurred from my phantom self was "I hope that bird doesn't fly past and poop on me" It immediately left the tree to loudly deposit it's bowels about a metre away. I laughed, recognising what I had done and then 'I' thought, "and now another bird will fly very lowly and directly over my head towards the glorious Sun". And yes, of course another bird did, just that.

I was filled with love, light and awe for much of the day.

Environment is everything though. It will beat will power every time. And finding the same authentic beingness is where I struggle. When I shifted into the upper triangle I also left the tightness behind. The tension and contraction has gone in all but the most challenging situations and whilst I am awakening to my light I feel almost bereft of guidance. This community helps me reveal myself and it is my environment when the matrix overwhelms me and it helps me BE. <3 TY