Arriving on La Palma last week I waited at the airport café for my 2 fellow travelers to the retreat center. My eye was caught by a text written on the side of the café: Unleash the Unexpected. And so it was. After an incredibly beautiful, heartwarming and also devastating week I took a bus back to the capital which was spiralling its way endlessly down to the sea. How synchronistic that this winding road brought me back to the clearing of lower chakra's and to the waters of surrender.

A process of activation of Kundalini kicked off strongly after settling in the hotel and my first reaction was to run and hide, on an ego level I felt devastated and overpowered. However by feeling that I was not the body or the ego I managed to surrender through the heart, be vulnerable and naked. Endless waves of emotions of sadness, fear, control and manipulation, thought loops and patterns, flashes of visions kept me awake. In the quieter times I started writing to keep sane. While transitting through 2 airports the next day the process went on and was even getting more intense. Synchronicities everywhere. Fear was a big theme. The fear of the inmense powers that can be unleashed, fear of losing relationships, fear of the unknown, fear of being controlled etc.

Surrendering through the heart made me trust in what was enfolding. I have become so much more aware of the power I have, which is also scary when used unconsciously. Manipulative thoughts of please be gentle on me, not that please etc. I had to surrender more and more.

Eventually yesterday I had to stop driving my car to finish of a process of fear of losing a relationship. The song Flowers from Miley Cirus kicked of at the car radio and I could unleash a big , heavy harness. There was a big silence in the air on a soul level it was very liberating.

A next big process started building, relations with my children it was scary and I couldn’t fully go there I noticed. Immediately after that I felt exhausted and felt the Ra energy coming on and strange energies moved into my belly, bloating up. Fear of letting go of the children was the weak spot through which lower energies could creep in and left me with a feeling of powerlessness. I will find the fuel to stir up my fire again to confront the next layers.

Corine