Thank you all so much for the comments. I will admit when I first read them at the time of posting I wasn't exactly sure what to take from them but now reading them today I understand and have actually implemented some of the techniques you guys mentioned since this was first posted.

Open, I understand now what you mean by letting my feelings be and to not judge them as negatively. Whenever I have a "bad" feeling that usually comes with anxiety I try not to judge it negatively and instead just let it happen without any judgement. This has helped me a lot because usually when these feelings happen, I start to really panic and associate the feeling as something bad happening; now I'm more calm and the feeling eventually goes away.

Eduardo in the past when I smoked with other people I could definitely feel my anxiety even more intensely than when I was sober. Even when I was smoking alone I noticed my anxiety spike. I haven't stopped smoking completely but I have started to smoke less. I guess I'm hoping if I'm able to better control my anxiety and not let it affect me as much, sometime in the future I'll be able to smoke regularly and with people. I try not to rely on marijuana to make me feel good, because it has helped me realize some things about myself that I need to change that could make me a better and happier person.

I will also start looking more outside the realms of mindfulness. I initially thought mindfulness was the key to being completely free when practiced enough. But now I can see that there's more tools to be implemented to completely feel this way. I don't feel like it's an end goal anymore, but that it is a journey, and the journey is what should be appreciated.