This was very helpful, I recognise all of the above are right there in my life. It feels like I have been stuck in a sort of 4D cocoon lately and avoiding ownership. The biggest blockage I create for myself is (self) judgement. Every time I come to a place of more acceptance of my own distortions, to the point where it feels liberating and I can engage in them in a neutral way with close observation, the next thing I know I'm head deep into rejection and trying to paint a fancy picture over it all. But then being aware of and judging that too, piling up all these layers. It is really an exhausting dynamic that has me completely floored right now, I have no energy anymore.