I am very glad you have chosen to 'stay' Vimal for as long as the soul calls. I find the creative co-creation happening in our connection very productive, enlightening and Real.

Yes, I also think that we dont simply 'go back' to that sense of chasing like we did in the initial days. To me though and this is my experience, the holding on and the defending (which is still a form of chasing) can still arise, subtler, though fully seen. Its like what you say 'with more awareness and clarity'.

You say:

I had this realization that i may also have been seeking answers while writing here. But what would more serve is acknowledging my truth.

I like this. I feel that by aligning with our truth, we can also deeply listen to the truth of the other person, hence co-create, pose questions and go on a journey of possibilities. I have caught myself many times trying to find the answer somewhere else but inside. This happens when I forget that everything outside - e.g. this web site - is a signpost, an inspiring, reflective, mirroring signpost to 'see' in here. (For me) To really feel and see the conditioning AND also THAT which is already and always there.

Yes, the dissolution can happen just like this - the loss of the 'me' just happens AND at the same time very often we construct an experience out of 'it' as a goal to reach, whereas I am discovering that we only need to look here, inside, only rest in awareness with the orientation to allow the unfolding of 'what is' every moment. I think the 'work' we are doing is the unlearning, the de-conditioning, the resting inside. Learning how to rest in pure awareness inside, which then allows for alignment with the Soul.

Yes, Ramana is a good example. I dont know if he does deny/ied the soul qualities, I dont see this happening. When I ask the question 'Who am I' without expecting or searching for answers, I come to a silent pause. Yes, the 'me' sense of a seeker is still there, though looser. I find in my experience that seeking for the answer to the question comes from the seeker. So, I am opening up to just holding the question and relaxing into the unknown - not easy.

I am exploring that as the 'me' dissolves naturally without seeking to do so - not linear for me but reaching more spiral depth - I can tune into the Soul more. I understand you also find use in posing the question 'who is seeking' which helps to remind to soften and be more attune to the calling of the soul. So, for me, rather than constantly getting caught up into the fears, efforting and judgements (all changing experiences - an embodied realisation that helps me a lot), I have the opportunity to inhabit awareness (the constant) which is always there and allow life to flow through me. In this way, Soul or what I feel as the Orientation Being, opens up, I can clearly feel it and alignment happens. Open often talks about alignment as 'it just clicks'.

I love this, it kind of speaks to what I shared above:

I know when the drive to find alignment comes with a nonacceptance of the present then it can become an efforting. So presence is the key ,so we are flexible enough to know when to drop the efforting and when to push forward.

So my question to hold is: If in your experience there is flexibility to know when to drop the efforting and when to push forward then what is it that is challenging/sticky/jolting when you say here:

I've been seeing this for many years now , i wish if i could just drop the efforting. But i'm driven to find alignment/perfection which feels very real.

<3