Hi there, I am jumping off a cliff with a deep sharing here, gulp! Its taken me awhile to get to this, my belly is a bit tight but here goes!Juuuump!

I am at present struggling with the big A (abandonment) I live alone on a large property in aus. I felt guided via synchronicity to move here with my youngest son, who has since moved elsewhere. So I am alone apart from my animals which are a great comfort in the midst of this difficult time.

In August I had a bad fall off my horse got and knocked out(and just cant for the life of me remember how it happened) I ended up in hospital for a week with multiple injuries which till this day are still healing! Aargh! I was blessed to have my son come and look after things for 8 weeks whilst I was bedridden pretty much.

Now its Nov and I still cant do much physical stuff, but I can manage feeding the animals and look after myself yay! I am trying to see why I brought this into my life, what are my lessons? I guess one of the biggies here I do know is the feeling of isolation and abandonment I'm facing. I am trying to feel into the tightness and get to the 'one' thing in it.

And I wonder too, if being here on such a big property alone is such a good idea now my son has moved on. My vision for this place was that it be a place of rest and healing for folk that need time out of the craziness to connect with nature etc. But now I think I might be a bit crazy biting more off than I can chew gulp!

So round and round it goes in my head and screws up my guts eek!

I'm quite new to all this so I have been reading many of the articles and sharings on this wonderful site to try and get a grip or breakthrough in this area. I have also been listening to entities/implants, ascension and wounded dragon meditations. Ive been doing a chakra cleanse daily and writing in my gratefulness diary and journalling.

I am also reading 5 gateways and trying to follow the steps in facing into the pain etc.

I am so desperate to sort this it has overcome my paranoia of sharing deeply on the internet (which I know stores all our data!)aargh! It creeps me out! But desperation has won out!

I know I need to get to the point where its ok to be alone and not struggle with it but I still haven't been able to make much headway as yet! Any help on this would be very much appreciated. As I sometimes miss the obvious!

Thankyou in anticipation.

Oh crikey! this is an essay! I didnt mean it to be so long!

btw-this community is so beautiful and encouraging, you have helped me not feel as alone, so a HUGE THANKYOU for your generous sharing hearts!

Much love and big hugs

Zee 🌳