Continuing on. For me, the experience here, was definitely re-traumatising, so so painful. I was beyond taking my own life at this stage, but I wouldn't assume others are Open. I can only talk about this now, because I'm so certain it was a necessary part of my life. I was severely abused by alcoholic parents, until my mid-teens when I ran away. Emotionally, physically and environmentally. Starved of adequate resources, clothing, books, company, friends, I wasn't allowed out. My father used to get drunk, then a session with me could go on for hours every day of my growing up. I was a disturbed child, I had to have extra help in school to get me reading and writing. I was a little retarded you might say. Into early adulthood, you can imagine, gravitating to abusers, the situation got worse. I started attempting suicide from the age of 7, but I was scared to die. I didn't know would happen if I killed myself, what was beyond. i just wanted to pain so desperately to stop. My brain was moulded by this, all it could generate from within was despair. I would most certainly be dead now if it wasn't for a sound wave therapy, a little like the singing bowls only via audio. I started listening every day for an hour, sometimes two, about fifteen years ago, and gradually, my brain rewired. Rarely do I witness the level of compassion that I am personally capable of, in the world around me. My shrink teacher in Bristol once said that the best therapists had the most terrible starts in life. I think he intuited, and I believed him. I go amongst rude, or stinking, or arrogant, or scruffy, or greedy, or whatever, people, and I feel such a compassion from my being my eyes hold back burning tears. I would never wish to cause any pain to another being no matter who they were. And for those in pain, I can connect with them, and understand them, in a way you couldn't, if you didn't know. Believe it or not, my life isn't about me anymore. It's about all the others. I'm here to be of benefit to the world in my every word and act. Rest assured, we ARE OUT HERE. We ARE making a difference. That's WHY we're here! And I couldn't think of anything better to do.