Yes! that's what it feels like! wanting to shake things up. And the truth is obvious: i'm not so much angry at them for taking my freedom, i'm most angry at myself for giving it away, for people pleasing and then withdrawing after i find out they are advantage-takers. This has been a core defense mechanism from the mother wound and as i recognize it more and more i feel embarassed and frustrated with myself for not being stronger and betraying myself yet again. And for giving into the fear of the unknown for small comforts and security. For not trusting and taking the risk for something more aligned with me. Using humour and irony is a great way to not only diffuse my own anger but maybe get a bit of understanding. I have to have more respect for myself and others and stop playing the same old games. This is where authenticity starts. And in order to be authentic i have to be fully present to catch myself in the old behaviour. i was having interesting musings about presence just last night; why would i want to miss a moment of this incredible life by not being present in it every momentand disassociating the way i always do, and if i was at school (btw would it be too late to go to school now? is the collapse coming soon?) and fully deeply present i shouldn't need to take notes. Besides how can one be fully present with a lecture if one was taking notes? Random thoughts i get. Thank you i'm going to start practising.💙💙💙🙏