On the train from Bangor to Manchester I could increasingly feel society as an incoming pressure pushing me down. I never felt it in that way before so it is now something I can work with.

Especially on Manchester Airport in the waiting area, for the first time, I noticed the world as being inside me instead of me being in it. A curious sensation. I was sitting lotus with intertwined fingers, except thumbs and index extended and touching, bag next to me with my hat on top of it, and my little duckie on top of that. The few people who noticed and threw an awkward look my way made me think: oh look, someone who needs to see this. A large chunk of the usual resistance versus being noticed has disappeared.

Making my way back home without glasses (which didn't turn out to be anywhere in my baggage) made me go into the feeling sense more than the visual sense. On the plane ride back home, looking out the window a moment of revelation happened and I noticed how not wearing glasses allows me to relax when I focus too much; when the 'outside world' is too clear I should focus to the inner. Each time this sensation has been experienced so far, it led to a valuable insight.

The emotional outburst set in motion by the sweat lodge has created a lot of inner stillness but I also notice barriers I hadn't noticed before. So for that also, it is now something I can work with.

Last night I asked myself what would happen if I still the mind completely. A few seconds later, my largest backpack which I hadn't touched for hours fell over. So I will drop a lot of baggage, got it.

I have found a number of places where I just felt to lean against a tree or simply sit or stand and meditate. Two of these places were along a busy road. It is no longer a factor I take into consideration, a testament to the inner changes that have happened.

On the second day of fasting my third eye was very active, though I find it difficult to say how much the fasting contributed to that and how much was due to acclimatisation to the group energies and/or Cae Mabon site. I had an active weekend but starting today the plan is to stay on one meal per 48 hours for a while to see how this develops. I will simultaneously explore the newfound sensitivity to what I will call historic information for now (what I sensed about events when looking at the mountains and the lake, and felt inside the ruined houses scattered around the place; by the way seeing the ocean on the way back in the train brought an overpowering and awesome sense of ancientness with it!)

Purple lightning dragon, who are you? There is still a distance, I feel like it can be compared to me not being there yet. Perhaps communication is not necessary, simply presence.