Thank you for the questions Open. I find it hard in places to take up space.

It's how he was killed I can't find acceptance with. It was an experience that made me question everything and a lot of things cleared but my mind struggles to come to terms with the brutality of it. My heart feels heavy before it happened this place felt magical to me but after it became tiring and testing on all levels. I experienced it happening out of the blue and that really rocked my world. What I feel is missing is finding a way to hold it that accepts it fully as it happened without buying into the fear